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What conjures memories of the festive season more than neon lights and a killer robot santa? Christmas Bloody Christmas is effectively Silent Night, Deadly Night crossed with The Terminator and a grindhouse aesthetic, but it never really reaches any of those heights. We talk about the grating dialogue, the film’s extended finale, the lack of creativity in the kills, and a lot more in this yuletide episode on Joe Begos’ film!
We’re also drinking Zero Gravity’s Green State Evergreen Winter Lager.
Approximate timeline
0:00-12:00 Intro
12:00-18:00 Beer talk
18:00-end Christmas Bloody Christmas
Hit that play button above to listen in.
Transcript – Christmas Bloody Christmas (auto-generated)
Click to expand full transcript
0:01
Raindrops on, roses and whiskers on.
Kit, welcome back to the fest of the series, ladies and gentlemen at the Blood of Black Rambad cast.
This year we’re celebrating the season with new and old.
We might be bringing you some romance, couple of Santa Claus killers and a whole lot.
0:22
More.
Stay tuned all Christmas season as we dive deeper into the holiday hits.
These are a.
Few of my favorite things.
Hey guys, welcome back to the Blown Black Crumb podcast.
0:37
I’m Ryan from closeplaytation.com and I’m joined with my Co host Martin.
How’s it going?
Good.
We are continuing our Festivus series.
We’re getting we’re getting closer to actual Festivus too.
So Seth, this coming up in a few days, right?
Yeah, I think, yeah, so, So just in time.
0:57
And yeah, today is going to be like a rapid fire discussion of all of the things that we do and don’t like in cult films and move in music, and we’re just going to fire them off at you 1 by 1 each.
Other it’s going to be, it’s going to be the airing of grievances, but that’s right for the zeitgeist.
1:15
That’s, that’s absolutely correct.
And that’s what we’re going to do now instead of just having, you know, a nice discussion every time Martin says something, I’m just going to disagree with it heartily and give you reasons why I disagree with it instead.
So as normal people do in everyday conversation, yeah.
1:33
He’s Peak and Trary and yeah, well, I mean, that’s what all the all everything on the TV.
These days is just the witty banter.
Idiotic punditry.
You know, I’m going to like, Skip Bayless made a whole career out of just being like, you know, Tom Brady’s not good.
1:54
He’s not a good quarterback.
There you go.
You know, I would pick Tony Romo any day over Tom Brady because I love the Cowboys so much.
And, you know, and just like you’re saying stupid hot takes because just to piss, just to piss me off, Yeah, you know.
2:13
Clip it fucking online.
I hate it.
It’s just, it’s just ruining, ruining this country, not just with sports, but news and music and everything it’s.
Just we could do Christmas hot takes as well because that’s obviously what we’re here for is to do the, the Christmas Christmas spirit as we play the Christmas tunes behind our discussion.
2:35
So, but yeah, we’re, we’re, we’re continuing Festivus series.
And today we’re going to talk about a movie that surprisingly to me, released about 3 years ago in 2022.
Now it’s a Shudder movie that was released with in conjunction with RLJE Entertainment.
2:55
And I don’t know if that means much to some people and like you, but when I see RLJE, I’m always a little wary.
I’m always like.
They.
They don’t have a great track record releasing Good to be honest with you.
But yeah, way back in 2022, I actually did check this movie out when it first released for the holidays because, you know, obviously Shutter does a they they kind of are like the Hallmark of horror movies where they’re like, all right, we’re going to pepper Halloween and Christmas with horror related movies that we’re going to, you know, spice out through the through the year.
3:31
So.
We got to crank them out.
That’s right.
Yeah.
They’re they’re the, you know, doing that stuff.
And the hallmark of Christmas will be so.
Holy hell, I’m on the thank you for their filmography.
Jesus Christ.
Right.
They got a lot of stuff, yeah.
And when I checked it out, I was not really enthused with the movie, you know, at the time.
3:57
And actually, I think, I think I wrote a review for it actually at colesploitation.com.
And I I think I also made a TikTok video at one point.
We don’t currently have TikTok anymore, but I think at one point I did because I I had so much negative things to say about it.
I really just had to put it out there.
4:13
And so, yeah, at the time, I was not a huge fan of this movie.
But you brought it up today.
You know, you gave you the way of picking today and you, you, you asked about Christmas, play Christmas, and I said, sure, why not, Let’s do it.
4:32
Because though it’s not a good movie, it’ll give us a lot to discuss.
Well, I also didn’t think you would.
You saw it because I mean as I was bruising the Netflix and Toby and other things.
I mean, the selection of holiday themed films is starting to get, you know, pretty thin unless you want us to really just go into shabbarding gifts for everyone, which is fine by us.
4:55
And we can totally create a secondary podcast network where we just do that kind of thing.
Yeah.
But I was just, you know, on Netflix and Tube, you know, that and like, nothing really.
I saw that.
I was like, would you want to eat that, you know, And Ryan said sure.
5:12
And he didn’t act like he’s seen it before, like maybe he had none of it could be a surprise.
We usually like to say it be topical.
So I don’t know what we’re doing in 2012. 2022.
Yeah, yeah, I think, yeah, I don’t like too.
5:29
I don’t know what.
Well, I’m going to as I’m going to look back and see what we were doing for Festivus then.
But so kind of surprised we missed it.
And you know, here we are and.
Yeah, yeah.
I don’t know, I guess maybe at the time I just watched it and I was like, you know, we’re not doing that.
5:47
But I didn’t hadn’t wanted to revisit it at any time in the recent past.
But you know, I thought, you know what, it’s fine, let’s give it another shot.
I’ll try it again.
I can tell you why.
We were too busy doing God’s work with the films that year.
6:03
That’s yeah, we did Home Alone Too true.
Boston, NY managed to see Secret Service trading places Sure and the Santa Clauses.
Yes, right.
When we had to do the whole series, the whole first season of that one.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
6:20
I didn’t.
I don’t know.
We didn’t feel the need to do it, but here we are today.
Then we’re going to do Christmas, bloody Christmas.
And the first thing that I think stands out to me or even stood out to me when I first heard of the movie is the really, like lack of creativity in the movie title.
6:38
I’m just like, it reminds me in there’s like a Bob’s Burgers episode where Linda has to start a song, like a random song at the Ice Capades, and she just has to fill time.
So she’s making up the song and she’s like Christmas, oh, Christmas, Christmas, you are so Christmas.
6:58
And that’s what this movie title always reminds me of when I hear it just sounds so like made-up on the spot.
Like what are we going to call this movie Christmas, Bloody Christmas?
I don’t.
Know OK well hold on two things one Christmas songs are like that.
I actually got three things, so you’re wrong on that.
7:14
Two.
Yeah.
If you’re going to do Linda Belcher, you have to have, you know, H John there.
Well, H John doesn’t do Linda, but.
No, no, I know.
We got to have him be like, guys, shut up, Linda.
Just shut up, Linda.
7:30
Linda.
I don’t have the.
I don’t think I have the depth or range to go.
Hey, Brandon.
Brandon, come here.
Yeah.
What do you need, Coach?
You’re going to put me in the game?
No, Brandon, you’re terrible.
I’m going to have sex with your mother.
Yeah, but now that and also I like the.
7:49
I actually like the name Christmas.
Bloody Christmas.
I think it’s.
Yeah, I think it’s good, you know.
There you go.
The first hot take from from us is the I put out something I.
Mean it’s you think Christmas bloody Christmas is garbage, but you’re you’re 1 who’s like Christmas evil.
8:08
That’s wonderful.
I like that one.
Christmas evil.
Christmas evil?
Turns into Christmas evil.
I love it.
Silent Night, Deadly night.
Great, you know.
Well, that’s different.
I I’m not, I’m not throwing shots here, but I am giving you shit about your, you know, your untouchable.
8:30
It’s true monolith of Christmas Eve.
I don’t know, I just think that the name alone does not bode well for the rest of the movie.
It lets you know what’s you’re in store for.
It’s true.
It’s.
True, it’s a very bloody Christmas.
Hey, it’s going to be bloody.
It’s going to be Christmas.
8:47
That’s what you’re in for.
Yeah, I guess so.
Yeah.
Yeah, I’ll agree.
So again, you you hadn’t seen this movie and.
You didn’t I?
Never heard of it.
Never.
I didn’t have.
Not a single clue of yeah, no inkling whatsoever, you know?
9:04
And do you have any knowledge of the director, Joe Vegas?
I like his bagels.
Vegas bagels, bagels, bagels.
He should.
He should open up.
A.
No, but when you go to this Wikipedia page, he’s so prolific that they don’t even know his birthday somewhere.
9:24
Well, sometime in 1980. 7 So, yeah, I would say that the you know, the reason that I asked that is because he has in the more recent past in like the 2019 through 2023 range.
It was kind of relevant in that there was a a period of time where I all the were periodicals or picking up his movies and being like, oh wow, look at this film maker to be, you know, and like low budget indie Artur that’s, you know, making movies.
9:56
I think one of the more the ones that really stood out that he got some recognition for was VFW, which was kind of part of it was just relying on namesake alone like that.
He just assembled a bunch of, you know, previous horror actors and got them all together into this one movie where they were, you know, guys drinking at the VFW and like stuff happens at the VFW.
10:24
So I, I mentioned that because he, he does have like, you know, he has a particular style and a particular set sense of direction that I think if you knew about him and you knew that he directed Christmas, bloody Christmas, you probably would have an expectation for the movie that you per SE would not have because you don’t know anything about it.
10:51
So, you know, you wouldn’t, you wouldn’t come into that with any of the baggage.
But for other people, I think the thing that sticks out the most is like he’s kind of steeped in like this 80s culture.
You know, he’s he’s filming on low budget quality film on purpose, you know, or you could just call it because it’s low budget, but he’s like filming on 60 millimetre.
11:13
You know, the synth work that he brings to this movies is kind of the staple point of all this stuff.
Now there’s AI think we’ll talk about whether that makes a movie good or not.
Like if you just have these aesthetics, does that really make it good or does it just say that you know you’re inspired by things, but you know it?
11:34
I don’t know that that necessarily can be the only reason why people are interested in your movies.
But, you know, we’ll talk about that because Christmas, bloody Christmas has all that and more.
So as we get into the movie, we’ll, we can talk more about Joe Bagel.
So I just didn’t know if you’ve ever heard of him, which most people I don’t think have.
11:52
You know it’s not a household name by any means, but.
What do you mean if you haven’t seen this new Joe Bagel’s film?
I think he should open a Bagos’s Bagels shop.
And you know, like.
Invite Kramer to come in like in the festive episode.
Hey, Jer, servicing the bagels because that’s.
12:12
Actually, you know that that episode is is technically not about Festivus, not even named Festivus or anything.
It’s named the strike because Kramer’s been on strike from the bagel shop for like a decade.
So that’s the whole idea behind the episode.
12:27
But so anyways, yeah.
Well, no.
No one cares because Jerry Stiller’s where it’s at.
Yeah, that’s right.
All right, I hear you pop the top.
So let’s take a break to talk about the beer that we have on the show.
So I’ll let you take it away because you’re the one that picked it out today.
12:47
Yeah, it did.
So when I was out perusing today after having lunch with my mother, stop there, local beer shop and just walking around looking for something new, something fancy, something festive to kind of fit as we’re getting ever closer to Christmas.
13:12
And I stumbled upon when I was looking out a lot of the stuff that we’re seeing.
I mean, to be honest with you didn’t have that much of a really big kind of Christmas selection.
So like I was kind of looking around.
13:28
I couldn’t remember if we’ve ever done left hands can cane milks out was thinking about grabbing that was thinking about grabbing Saranac’s new holiday that the white pale ale that they had.
13:45
But as I was walking, I saw a four pack of what I thought was green state beer because it says green stayed on it.
So I was like, oh, I’ve never heard of them before.
And I saw this lovely seasonal specialty Evergreen celebration Strength Winter Lager, which is actually, as Ryan corrected me, calling me an idiot, Zero gravity beer.
14:11
Yeah, Which we’ve done, I think like one or two on the podcast.
Yeah, I think we definitely had their Oktoberfest at one point on here.
I think it’s interesting because as you said, try to say it in a mouthful, it’s like 0 Gravity’s green state seasonal specialty Evergreen celebration strength winter lager.
14:31
It’s like the full title on the can.
And it’s again, it’s understandable by looking at the can that you’re like, oh, green state brewing.
I’ve never seen that before because it’s very prominent at the top of the can.
Like green state looks like the name of the the brewery.
But if you go to the side of the can, that’s where you see it’s actually zero gravity.
14:49
So very.
Written in that nice Dixon in the yeah, you know, a script of like, come get the Christmas goose.
I will say I do love the can.
I do like it a lot.
Very eye-catching, you know, red, green and white.
15:05
Very, you know, 1940s, fifties, with a style of like writing and it’s imagery, you know.
Yeah, it’s got like that seasonal imagery that you’d expect from a pre Santa Claus Coca-Cola.
Yeah, you know, I don’t know.
15:24
I like, I like the can a lot as well.
I think it’s eye.
Catching and yeah, I’m going to be keeping it for the collection though, like, you know, nice cans that I’ve had.
Now I got it because it’s a winter logger and as if you listen regularly, you’ll know that I’m not a big winter logger fan.
15:44
And it takes what makes a logger good and kind of crafts on it just because it’s kind of the style, the style that they usually add with like the kind of more licoricey darker, like spicier notes usually don’t come out as well get buried and just kind of muddle the beer.
16:06
And it’s not just Sam Adams, but I’m like, hey, wait, let’s give it a shot.
So this is beer is a there’s two things about it that you need to know.
One, do you like Vienna loggers?
Good news, this is a Vienna logger jacked up to 11 because it’s 6 1/2% alcohol.
16:31
So if you like that very light brisk bread, you know, Vienna molt style of like I like you.
Were you drinking like this is a definitely a Vienna logger and are a fan of them like I am.
16:47
You’re going to enjoy the hell out of this.
It’s great.
The problem is it’s not a winter water.
There’s nothing here that makes you gravitate to as the can is advertising like Oh bold and going to get you warmed up for the holiday.
17:05
Well, it’s only a 6 1/2% beer, so it’s not like you’re getting any high alcohol to it to make you warm you up on that alone or anything.
There’s no like nutmeg, coriander, fig, plum, rutabaga, like all the, you know, holidays, you know, spices and things that you’d expect to be tacked onto it.
17:29
So it’s misleading in that category with shame on you for that.
Like I said, it’s not a bad beer.
I like it a lot because I do enjoy and beef a good Vienna lager.
Problem is just by increasing the ABV doesn’t make it stand out as a winter lager because again, it’s not like as you’re drinking this, you’re thinking, oh boy, I’m sitting by the fire getting warmed up right now like you’re sucking out a bottle of schnapps.
18:00
So yeah, but yeah, I understand if you if you like the style, definitely give it a shot, but don’t expect to be razzle dazzled by it’s improper brand.
Yeah, I mean, I, I definitely agree with that.
18:17
I feel like calling it a winter lager is basically because they swapped a label on it.
I think one thing to note is the green state is their traditional logger style.
So this is like an offshoot of the green state that they usually release.
So I think with that they’re they’re calling this a winter lager and the fact that they took their lager and they released it during the winter and they then it became celebration strength because they gave it a little bit higher ABV.
18:47
So I agree with that, that it’s a little bit misleading because when you go into something with a winter lager name, you’re like, though I do also think that this is kind of morphed over the years.
You know, a lot of people have started calling their winter warmers just straight up winter lagers.
19:04
And so that’s probably leading to some of the confusion here.
But I do think, you know, playing into that you when you come into this beer and you see winter lager, you’re probably expecting a winter warmer style with those, you know, a lager, but with notes of the spices that you would expect from a winter style seasonal.
19:21
And you don’t get that from this beer.
So I think that is a little bit it can it can be a sticker shock for people at the same time, I think it’s a pretty solid beer.
I like it quite a bit.
I think that the the base lager is really good.
The 6%, you know, gives it a little bit more kick to it.
19:38
And I do think that the Vienna style with the Vienna malt and stuff comes out pretty what nicely.
So it’s very drinkable.
So I mean, all told, I think it’s nice beer.
Got a nice can to it.
It’s just a little bit misleading.
You’re probably not going to get like super wintery flavors like you might be expecting from it.
19:56
So otherwise I think it’s pretty nice.
You know, I’ve never had anything really bad from zero gravity.
I haven’t had a whole lot, but I think they do make a pretty good overall, like lager style and stuff like that.
So, you know, interesting idea.
20:15
Yeah, they definitely do.
They do like check of pills.
German pills, yeah, Polish and not Polish.
Yeah, Italian.
So.
They’re like they’re in the lagers quite a bit.
So.
So you know, you’re in good hands without.
All right, let’s move on and talk about Christmas bloody crisps.
20:34
Christmas.
Bloody Christmas.
Bloody Christmas.
Bloody Christmas.
It should actually should be called Christmas.
Neon Christmas or something like that.
Because you mean?
Christmas on a Why do we have a inappropriate blue haze going on Christmas?
20:58
Yeah.
Yeah, I think I think the biggest thing, the take away from Christmas, bloody Christmas that you get again, as I talked about Joe Bagos being the director and writer, is that there are a few things that you really can see as the aesthetic here.
So for one, it is basically like a Rob Zombie light, especially considering Rob Zombie’s most recent output with like The Munsters.
21:23
It also in 2022, these two films alone probably shot the neon budget for whoever was, you know, producing them because Christmas, buddy, Christmas is basically instead of instead of, you know, traditional Christmas lighting like you get from the 80s films, you know, with those big whatever they call them, like C9 bulbs or whatever they are, which I love.
21:47
I love that very, you know, classic aesthetic of the Christmas lights.
Instead of that, this film kind of takes it to a different level.
And it’s like, what if we had Christmas lights, but they were all like, so neon just, you know, absolutely swimming in like this glow that you get from the neon lighting and it’s blurry.
22:09
It’s very, you know, almost like you’re being abducted by aliens all the time, like sort of thing where it’s just like.
A slight, I was going to say.
I was going to say a slight Vaseline smudge to it too.
Yeah.
And I think.
That’s it’s also because this film was shot in 16 millimetre, so it has a very, very grainy scale to it.
22:28
Not like the 16 millimetres of old, obviously, like this movie is not, you know, that level of bad film quality, but it is it it’s shot on 16 millimetres specifically for that particular style of grindhouse Y type look where it kind of looks grainy and a little bit unfocused.
22:49
And you know, that I think lends itself to that neon lighting where it starts looking very smeary a lot of the time, like you said.
Well, I was going to say it’s not like I don’t I don’t like that in like the lighting, like the well, the bright, like millennial mid mid Obama term, like neon lighting and stuff.
23:11
I don’t find it to be a hindrance to the film.
I think if anything, when it comes to that, again, it’s like the coral blue constant haze that they’re putting around.
Like if you’re watching the matrix or saw where it’s like, why is this tint here or this ever persistent tint here?
23:34
It, you know, it’s distracting from what’s actually taking place in the shop.
Yeah.
I mean, I think part of that is on purpose is like to hide the seams basically, right, Like you, you’re on a hide the low budget because this movie is pretty brutal.
It does have a lot of kills to it.
23:50
You know, a lot of axes to the face.
There’s like at one point there’s a a whole like, you know, American history X style, brutal face smashing and, you know, curb stomping.
And I think, you know, I think that the the blurriness of it sometimes is to hide those seams of like the.
24:14
Special.
Effects are really not great, you know, like they’re they.
You can definitely tell that they are very like fakey plasticky looking stuff.
I get it, but it’s annoying.
It’s annoying when any film does it again.
Like when you sit down and you’re watching the Costas Mandalore trilogy you saw.
24:33
You’re like, God, you know, Cosas Mandalore is a fucking beautiful, brilliant actor.
And why are you hiding him in this?
Puke in green, Yeah, there’s ever, you know, ever persistent pukey green, you know, shit stain of like something like, yeah, like the neon’s not the problem with the movie.
25:01
Well, you can, as I say, starting right off with the film, with the whole Channel 83, like little vignettes and stuff.
You’re like, oh, great, this is a Rob Zombie.
I’m like like, you know, like everyone, oh, even the kids are going to drink the whiskey for Christmas because this is you know, and like, like it’s just like, oh God, I think you’re saying like it’s not like it.
25:30
It comes across as like it’s not charming in the way that like, you know, when Tarantino does something like that, like, oh, there’s love into this.
It feels like just Blase and there, you know, to like, oh, see, look, look what we can do this too type of thing.
25:51
I kind of would.
I like actually I kind of don’t mind the Channel 83 elements at the beginning because I feel like it might have been a more enjoyable movie to just have it be like flipping through channels like Robot Chicken style of just random mass Christmas things that are happening on the TV.
26:09
Yeah, no, no, no.
That’d be cool for like like if it was a drawn a blank, like I was going to say a compilation, but like a cereal.
I’m not saying like they’re I’m not saying the idea is bad.
I’m saying like the execution’s just very just like bare bones white trash, like, you know, like, Oh yeah, we’re in the hooker there going do that Boo, Boo, Boo, you know.
26:35
And it’s not a, it doesn’t like really, you know, yeah, do anything.
Like I said, it’s not like a bad idea.
But again, I think it’s just not, there’s not like an intrigue.
26:52
Like, you know, you’re not watching like if you were to watch, say, Grindhouse and you’re getting those like trailers like Nazi women, wolf, werewolf, blah, blah, blah.
You know.
And I do think that the opening with the TV commercial is kind of like a cop out of how the film tries to explain this robot Santa figure that’s plaguing everybody because, like, it’s almost like blinking.
27:16
You miss it Explanation of this Santa.
Of why this film exists.
Yeah, exactly.
Exactly.
It’s almost like because like that there’s that opening intro where they’re like, let’s check out this robot Santa.
Like who wants a first of all, who wants a robot Santa?
And like no one’s asking for a robot Santa.
27:32
It’s not something that you would be like advertising.
Come down to whatever it’s called.
DW Doom Doomers and I can’t even remember what the stupid store is called RZRW whatever and come down and buy and check out our robot Santa.
27:48
For some reason it’s it does.
It definitely feels like it’s kind of the the idea came first, right?
It was like, what if we did Silent Night, Deadly Night, but like a Terminator style and there’s like a robot in there and, and then afterwards they were like, how do we get that into the fucking movie then like.
28:05
So hold on, according to Wikipedia.
You saw the same thing I did.
Yeah, it absolutely did start out that way.
It was basically like, what if we were made Silent Night, Dead the night, and people were like, go on, Joe.
And then Joe is like, like Terminator.
28:22
And they’re like, whoa, whoa, whoa, Joe.
Why?
Which is, which is stupid because it’s not like silent, like deadly night is like some sacred cow that like it’s like, yeah, why not, you know, true, true and and.
The other thing?
Too, the whole the whole the whole genre and the style of film itself lends itself to like, listen, if you’re going to take that and do something with it, you’re obviously not probably going to do a better job, so you might as well like I.
28:50
I absolutely can agree with that because it’s like, you know, like we’re entering territory of like this is already a sub sub sub sub sub genre of horror is like a, a Christmas themed movie where a killer Santa attacks.
It’s like what you know, the the idea is not like when you go to silent night, deadly night and you’re trying to remake it and someone put, you know, throws out like what if we did a Santa that kills people and they’re like brilliant.
29:15
It’s the same, same idea of like every single movie they’ve done it, you know, at least Silent Night, Deadly Night 5 tried to do a little and not a good movie, but they try to do something different with it, you know?
And it’s topical too, because again, they both came out in 84, so you know, and they’re both flasher films like, you know, so I can appreciate that.
29:36
Speaking of that whole like going back to the Channel 88 commercials in the sand a bit, blinking, you miss it.
That’s another thing that annoyed me.
It’s like you’re doing another you’re doing a poor man’s Olvierhoven as well.
You know, with that being like robo Santa, you know, and come to the store and get your robo Santa.
29:56
That way you only have to deal with the bombs.
It’s like Paul Verhoeven.
You should just like you probably want an answer, but like you message him on Instagram or something going, Hey Paul, how was your?
Yeah, I know, I know.
30:14
Yeah.
I mean, I think that the idea is this idea of Terminator as a killer Santa.
It’s like it’s fine.
It’s, you know, it’s not like revelation or revelation or anything that you never seen before.
But I think like the idea is OK, but the way that they try to shoehorn it in, it seems like it was like an afterthought because they it does seem like there was no thought to how can we organically get this like robot Santa thing in the movie?
30:42
So they just had to kind of shove it in there somewhere.
Like, what if we had a commercial and it just said there’s a robot Santa And then like they go to the toy store and for some reason they have like this terrifying robot Santa just standing there that like greets kids all the time, like.
Who have you been a good boy in this year?
30:57
If not, how much does that that damn thing cost too?
Because they said they even say in the commercial because again, it’s the veer Hove and vibes and RIP off of like, oh, it was for the military, but now you can get them at home.
You know how much, like, when you’re flipping through your Toys-R-Us, like, you know, holiday catalog and asking mom for what you want for Christmas, you know, well, what’s that going to run you back?
31:23
Military grade robot. $50,000 AT 1000.
I just want AT-1000 for Christmas.
This you go bitch like.
Yeah, yeah.
I don’t.
I don’t necessarily get the appeal for owning a robot Santa at home, but sure.
31:42
Same thing too, like you don’t have to deal with the bums, but that’s half the fun of Santa.
Is this like a real proper Santa or are you getting, you know, a?
Guy who needed a job for that.
He was pissed off and drunk.
And Billy Bob Thornton.
31:59
I was going to say juice grabs.
I was drawn blank there.
I was like, you know, get.
Yeah, I, I don’t know.
I don’t really, I don’t really vibe with the the idea of that, but I think hold on, there’s a.
Hold on, hold on.
Yeah, don’t say that.
32:16
Don’t say vibe.
You’re almost 40 years old, for God’s sake.
You’re not allowed.
That’s a word for your children, not for.
You I think they So the opening of this movie is really where Christmas bloody Christmas is either gonna I guess suck some people in where they’re like this has got to Rob Zombie vibe to it or much more likely it’s going to turn a lot of people off because the first I think I looked and it was like 26 minutes of the movie is devoted to just back and forth shit assery from the 2 main characters.
32:53
It just like constant banter of like poser esque the movie and music discussion that no one actually has in their life.
And I think that this is probably what was my biggest turn off from when I when I watched a movie before.
33:13
It’s just like that first act is so challenging to get through because I don’t.
Know no, no, you’re not wrong, you’re not wrong and I’m like because again, like I’ve seen the films and stuff like it’s it’s again in the Rob, as you said, Rob Zombie like this is Rob Zombie dialogue, Rob Zombie storytelling.
33:34
It’s so fucking banal and just what we’re fucking doing that fuck this, fuck that.
I’m going to go fuck, fuck, fuck.
You know, man, No, man, you know what the every time a male being lost their spirits when they cut their hair, Yeah, man, like fucking Metallica, you know, load.
33:53
That was awful.
And you know, you think about sound.
Yeah, that was bad too.
And, you know, and I don’t like a Christmas story.
Yeah.
But if you’re going to pull me something, put Black Christmas on and it’s just like.
I think.
34:10
It’s holy shit.
It’s like, it’s like.
So much.
It’s like, this is the wrong level of autism because usually when like, it’s, you know, no one is sitting there finding their soul mate drinking fucking shots of Irish whiskey with with no concern for their body and liver and yeah, gastrointestinal system.
34:35
Like who’s your favorite?
What’s your favorite child’s play too?
What’s your favorite Nightmare on Elm Street 6, You know, like, oh, you’re so hot.
You know, it’s it’s just so it’s so it’s too try Hardy again.
34:51
Like when they’re like, I don’t want to listen to Christmas music because Christmas music sucks.
You should listen to the Bad Religion Christmas album.
They suck you and it’s just like Jesus.
And you took offense to that?
Well, I did because I like Bad Religion.
I do though, I I definitely agree.
35:08
It’s very try Hardy in a in a like a way of like, how can we get all of the references?
Yeah, like the most ridiculous things into this movie at one time.
And, and I’m, I guess the Bagos formula is to write dialogue like this, but it makes our characters, specifically Tory, super unlikeable because they come off as pose or ask.
35:33
And like I would if somebody ever started talking to me about this stuff and just going on and on, I would be like out of the conversation because it’s just so it’s just so over the top and comical.
Like somebody comes up to me and says, my favorite, one of my favorite movies is like Blair Witch, two book of shadows.
35:50
I’d be like get the fuck out of here.
Like, yeah, I know, yeah, I don’t like, well, some of the things too.
And they’re like, what’s your, what’s your favorite child’s .2?
And it’s like, no one’s going to say that.
Yeah.
And I do like or like, what’s your, what’s your favorite?
36:06
Like, you know, what’s your favorite Freddy movie 6?
And it’s like, you didn’t say New Nightmare, You didn’t say Juan, like, you know, ’cause you didn’t say Dream Wars.
What do you know?
Is it?
It makes Tori seem really fake because it makes her seem like she intentionally picks out the most hot take hot takes to just be have her be her personality.
36:25
And it’s it’s it’s an issue with the writing.
Honestly, it’s it’s it’s like what would what would somebody be like super attracted to that’s into this scene of like, no, she doesn’t like the normal stuff.
She’s not a normie.
She, you know she.
My favorite My favorite Scream movies 3.
36:41
Yeah, I know.
And and like, I guess too, the thing that makes me laugh a lot too, is that just the amount of stuff that shoehorned into the background.
Like one of the things that was like very prominent about this movie and I guess was part of like the discussion about it when it released is that it has a lot of vinegar syndrome stuff in the background for some reason.
37:03
Like they have, you know, if you if you look quickly in the background because of this record, that basically the whole first part is set in the record store before they move on to the bar.
And when they’re in the record store, you know, they’re like a record slash movie shop.
They have VHS tapes and Blu rays and stuff like that.
37:21
You know, it’s it’s like an FYE if they didn’t switch over to just Funko Pop.
Yeah.
And so like they, if you look in the background, you’ll see a lot of stuff like you’ll see like Vinegar Syndrome Blu rays that they’ve released.
And you’ll see like posters in the backgrounds of shots, like Killer’s grasp is in one, which is like a really like, if you’re no, there’s no one that’s I would say like a fan of that movie where they just like I own AI own a poster of Killer’s.
37:50
It’s not.
It’s not like a popular movie at all.
I have a very rare laser disc version of Mako.
Yeah, exactly.
I have on.
That it’s kind of like just like random shit in the background.
Like you know, there is definitely like there’s a Spooky’s poster in the background too.
38:08
Syndrome released that and you know, that does have its cult film followings.
But like most times the stuff that you see in the background is like this is not someones favorite movie.
They would not have a poster of this like really low budget movie that no one has ever heard of besides like hardcore collectors before.
38:24
Not only that, hold on, that bothers you, not the fact in 2022 in this literal PO dunk town, that the whole town’s there to go be at the refugee.
You’re not wrong about that either.
At the beginning of the film The Guys Guys 9:00.
38:41
What are you here for?
I’m looking for a Christmas present.
What should I get?
Did you get your girlfriend WASP?
You should get her a WASP album.
I know, I know.
She’s very religious.
Go with Striper instead.
Get a nice.
It’s funny.
38:57
It’s.
Fucking stupid when they’re.
Walking outside.
In the yeah.
Sidewalk there’s like, it’s like a hallmark settings.
Yeah, because it’s literally 2 like 3 sores.
It’s like, you know, the like the like a corner in a Western movie.
39:15
It’s like it’s like a baskin-robbins and that and but I mean like again, like, well, look at all the VH.
Everyone in town loves their VHS.
They love watching A240P movie on.
Supplying everybody’s record obsession, their LP obsession in town.
39:34
You know, I just yeah, it’s funny.
It’s it’s obviously exaggerated.
But again, it’s it all smacks to me of like it’s just like very try Hardy.
No, it’s it’s too that kind of shit, I think would appeal.
And I think this whole movie, literally the demographic is like, you have to either be like a millennial or a Gen.
39:58
X or who like has that Rob Zombie niche to it or you’re or you’re a teenager who’s like, yeah, man.
Like I was listening to Ride the Lightning the other day, but then I put on Saint Anger and I was like, the drum sound like shit.
40:14
Yeah.
And then like, you know, for the kid, like 10 years later, it’s like, yeah, everyone knows like Saint Anger’s garbage.
Like don’t worry about it bud.
Yeah, I the only thing I can really say is that I was pleasantly surprised they played the they had played an Isis song, but at the same time it was from arguably one of my least favorite Isis records.
40:34
Their their last one.
And then also who what kind of bar jukebox in the, you know, in the podunk town, like you said, this local bar has like Isis records on the jukebox.
I’ve never never experienced that before, but you know, I would be interested in going to a bar that does have that.
40:52
Listen, I was at the lunch date.
The Girl after like the regular old classic rock songs are going on in country, a John Prine song came on.
Oh, there you go.
Yeah, Yeah.
I’m like, yeah, that’s the way the world goes around.
I’m like, beautiful, this is awesome.
41:08
I don’t know who, I don’t know who did that, but God bless you.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And then I think I think that’s like the biggest issue that I had early on Christmas, way Christmas, it’s just so it’s just so I want to say like it’s insufferable how long it goes on to.
41:26
It’s like that 25, you’re right.
Sorry to cut you off.
That 25 minutes is interminable because it’s just so like Oh my God, Oh my God, Oh my God, Oh my God, Oh my God, Oh my God, Oh my God, Oh my God.
And not only that, but it’s just leading the two to like, have sex.
41:45
It’s just have.
Sex already.
They didn’t have sex.
He just they just ate.
He just ate her pussy.
That’s.
True.
It’s true.
Listen, like by the way, too is, yeah, I took notes because when he was like, when she was like, guys don’t know how to eat pussy.
He’s like I do.
42:01
And Tyrannosaurus, he’s like, oh, I remember that mic.
Apparently he did.
He he brought.
He brought the Thunder.
Yeah, he did.
Because, listen, she must be also a woman of great strength and value, though.
Because with that mullet, that mustache.
42:16
Being able to resist for so long.
He’s been on payroll for years and years.
Not only that, that those Alan Jackson acid wash jeans like his ass is just bam right there like.
And, and like his shirt that’s kind of like pulled out, like kind of stretched out and he’s just got like, it says like something like I couldn’t even read it, but it says like Sabbath and it’s like a homemade shirt that he made from like wetters on a that you put on a mailbox.
42:42
How can you resist?
Yeah, I was, I was going to say like she should be taken violently to pound town like that.
Robbie is like the ultra hot cock running around like Jesus, you know?
Yeah.
I think, I think like that’s a little bit like insufferable too, is just the fact that it’s like, all right already, just get on with it because, you know, clearly.
43:06
What you have, we had a Tinder date originally planned because I’m horny and I just want to go home and have some guy, you know?
Yeah, fuck me and go home and Merry Christmas.
Yeah, You know, I, yeah.
43:22
Yeah, I think it takes it takes like way too long to actually get to the killer Santa.
And by that time you’re either definitely checked out because the you know, the dialogue was just over the too over the top for you or, you know, you again, the other on the other side of things, it’s kind of hard to figure out who this film is written for because like I feel like a lot of people are going to be like watching and be like, OK, this is really over the top.
43:47
Try Hardy with like the stuff that’s bringing up.
And then on the other side, yeah, people will be like, why do they talking about I?
Really.
Don’t know.
I really don’t.
Understand any of these references so.
What do they mean?
What do they mean, Van Hagar?
Yeah, I think, I think it’s it’s kind of confuses who it’s written for.
44:07
And then once you do get to the robot Santa, I don’t know, how do you feel about that?
How do you do you, do you think the robot Santa is like an interesting element?
Does it do a good job of doing the killer Santa bit?
OK.
So I’ll give it profs.
OK, it’s original, sure.
It doesn’t fucking matter though.
44:23
It’s the.
Terminator element to it and everything.
Because they don’t do anything like to make it like spooky or roll really roll into it like they should have had the God damn terminated stance as it’s like riding up like who slay bells, just keep ring Ding, Ding, like, you know, give it more of a horror presence and it for we know it’s a robot.
44:49
They don’t until like the like very, very end.
So the fact that like it takes until there’s like 20 minutes left in the film for them to like kind of show any aspect of like this is a robot, like, you know, the glowing green jaw totally missed out.
45:08
They don’t like the, it feels like Terminator Santa’s here just to be indestructible instead of really kind of leaning into it.
It’s not like you should have taken notes from like Terminator and have your Terminator Santa be able to, you know, say some witty things, be, you know, creative like because they do mention again blink and you miss it when they’re like in the toy store when someones like, oh, that robot Santa or whatever, like Oh yeah, no, they got all recalled because somethings wrong with them.
45:48
Again, you blink and you miss it.
So you wouldn’t have any context to why Santa is on a rampage.
But again, like, why is he not a rampage?
Why is he going around killing?
This right there’s no no rhyme or reason to it he just, you know functions and starts killing people it’s.
46:04
They they might as well have just gone like the Futurama like route and like a robo Santa with John Goodman and be like, you know, he goes around and he punishes those who have been naughty by like, you know, killing them.
Would have been triggered by Jay just having a giant pipe and gaping.
46:23
That’s why I know you know.
They’ve all seen this cock and it’s huge.
It’s huge.
Her pussy’s gape.
You know, You know.
He’s like soda can from Orange is the New Black, right?
You know.
Doesn’t everyone?
Don’t you all talk about your friend’s Dick like that?
Like, Oh yeah, big, round, beefy.
46:42
Too I I don’t know, I just.
And your friend and your friend’s waddling around like, Oh yeah, he gaped me.
He gaped Me.
Yes, Yeah, you’re you’re always just yeah, common common common coffee talk discussion, especially with your Co worker too, which you know it’s.
46:59
Like Sex in the City?
Yeah.
The other thing about Tory and Robbie, which is going to be awkward, like, you know, would it well, if they didn’t, if he didn’t die in the movie, would have been awkward, you know, for all this.
Yeah.
Coming back from New Year’s to be like, hey, hey, so are we going out now?
47:19
No, just just a fun time on Christmas Eve.
Can we hit?
Can we?
Can we have sex?
No.
No, Yeah, yeah, it’s.
Just but I but I but I eat your pussy.
I’m blue ball.
Yeah, sucks.
Sucks for you.
I think it’s like, you know, again, it’s it’s just this weird dialogue that’s very Rob Zombie esque that doesn’t really sit in reality and not.
47:43
Only that it’s the fact that like 2.
These people shouldn’t even be able to have sex.
Robbie should have be having whiskey Dick to the end of time.
They drink like 3 fucking whole bottles of like Irish whiskey stand up between the two.
48:02
They’re ripping spliffs while they’re walking around like I feel like this movie never happened.
It’s all in their head because they’re fucking, you know, suffering alcohol poisoning and their brain being rotted out from all the dope is, you know.
48:20
I also I think like your point stands of like the the Santa not really being that interesting of a character despite the fact that it’s a killer Santa robot.
It’s like the for for the most part, this, the killer Santa could have just been a literal killer Santa.
48:38
Like it could have just been a person because that’s kind of how the film mostly treats him.
It’s like it doesn’t matter that it’s a robot, it’s just a guy walking around with an axe.
Just like out of Silent Night, Deadly night.
Or it’s he’s basically Michael Myers.
And, and just, you know, and just killing people and it’s really not that interesting.
48:56
I feel like it’s it’s done in such a way that is kind of almost it.
It parts boring to even watch like this killer Santa go around killing people.
It’s just really not that.
Not that.
Interesting because it’s just an axe.
He’s just running around with an axe.
So which again, it’s like any film that has a killer Santa, it’s like, well, he’s got to have an axe.
49:15
It’s like.
And and then.
Have him have a candy cane or something like you.
You can do a billion things.
You don’t have to just do that.
It’s, you know, if you’re if you’re going to veer off into, you know, fun time land, you might as well, you know, not try to be like, by the way, the killer robot Santa is going to just carry an axe.
49:38
Around yeah, I agree.
I mean, I think it’s really it’s really boring and it kind of cheapens the effect of it being a robot.
And then the robot element, like you said, doesn’t really come in till the last moments of the movie where she’s especially where, you know, it becomes sort of like that Terminator element where all of the, you know, the cybernetics has melted away and you just see the robot beneath.
49:59
And at that point, I think that the movie goes on way too long, even at only 96 minutes or 86 minutes, I should say.
The the final act is is super drawn out because it’s like just Tori running around in the like the record store and it just kind of keeps going and it’s almost comical at a certain point where it’s like, all right.
50:20
Robot here.
No, it’s how many?
Yeah, how many red herrings there are to it’s.
Yeah, I remember that being another one of my biggest issues when I first saw this movie is like, you know, the middle portion, it’s OK.
You know, it’s got most majority of the kills, you know, some fairly OK practical effects that are hit masked by the 16 millimetre footage.
50:39
But you know, towards the end that conclusion is just like, ah, it just won’t end.
It just will not stop even.
And it just feels so long and drawn out and just like very little suspense to it.
I don’t know, it just doesn’t have the pacing that you it really should have with a movie about a fucking robot.
50:59
You know, no, I was I was yelling like you dumb bitch, you should take him to the like compressed place like fucking you know they don’t have.
Yeah, they don’t have like a local lava dispenser around a molten lava factory.
51:14
You know, a salvage yard.
I did like the fact that doesn’t like end super pretty for her because she gets her fingers chopped off and her broke, like, you know, her leg broken.
But but again, no, you’re right, because that whole bit is like holy shit.
51:32
The film can be totally summarized and like first act boring and going to piss you off because of how, as you said, pose heard this second act.
That’s where some of the fun is.
Third act Oh my God, you’re doing a very poor man’s Terminator right now.
51:52
Just.
Fucking like even from this soundtrack of like dude just just.
You know, just fucking wrap it up and let’s go.
Like like it’s the like as you said, like the fact there’s like 7 different, like bulk stabbed, stabbed them and lightning.
And then just like Jesus Christ, like it’s almost like as they’re filming the scene, they’re like, we got to add some more.
52:15
We don’t have enough runtime.
We got, we have to get into the certain amount of runtime, you know for it.
To market it, yeah, you know, almost 90 minutes.
I, I, I definitely think that it is definitely an issue where this could have been like an OK short because it really it has very, very little content to actually sustain a movie because there’s, again, you need 20 minutes of them just having exposition about what movies they do and don’t like.
52:41
I mean, it, it doesn’t really go anywhere and so I think it could have been a OK short.
I you know, it doesn’t have the amount of content to sustain it for a full 90 minute movie and it tries to stretch it out as long as possible.
One thing I think is really funny too is how outlandish the the responding officer is when she gets arrested.
53:03
Like.
You’re in a load of shit.
Lady like we found you drive a dead officer’s car covered in his blood and she’s like, I’m just a victim here.
He’s like, no, you’re not.
You’re going to jail, lady.
So out, so ridiculous, like.
Not only that though too.
The fact that every time, like the cops are involved, it’s just like, yeah, it’s like 3 different in time when she’s saying like, you have to believe me, we have to stop him before.
53:27
And like then they get, you know, disappear off the earth.
Like, you know, like it’s like, OK.
Like when the officer Davies, something happens, like that’s cool, that’s tense.
Like he shows up, he’s got a shotgun.
He blasts a guy three times and he thinks it because you don’t know it’s a robot.
53:45
He’s like, you can find her safe.
But to do it like five times in a row, it’s like, OK, yeah, yeah.
I agree.
You’re This isn’t interesting.
You’re getting boring now.
Yeah, yeah.
That’s that’s the biggest thing I think.
54:01
And again, it’s just like it’s so the film ultimately feels so derivative.
It just feels like, again, it, it really, really does feel like this started off as a silent night, deadly night.
And they didn’t, they didn’t want it that way.
So they just had to pivot a little bit so that they couldn’t, you know, you couldn’t call it silent night deadly night for obvious reasons, rights reasons.
54:22
So they’re like, all right, we’re just going to do the exact same thing.
We’ll just add a robot.
And, and it really does feel like that was the the epitome of the concept was like sound like deadly knight with robot.
And then they wrote the script around it.
And then even then it barely has a script.
54:41
It has very little to it that would make it interesting for people to watch.
So I don’t know, again, I feel like there’s a subset of people that probably will find this movie cool.
I don’t know.
I don’t want to disparage those types of people, but at the same time, like I’m looking for a little bit more than that.
55:00
But then talking about movies that I may or may not like and Killer sanded that smashed people’s heads with an axe.
So I don’t know.
What else can we talk about?
Car explosions film gets a 10 out of 10.
55:17
Jesus, it’s like fucking death wish too.
Hey, that ambulance just brushed against the car.
Whole fucking blocks on fire now.
Like it’s like like that part like I messaged you.
55:33
I was like, holy shit, that’s awesome.
I’m like, it’s, it doesn’t make any sense.
It’s like, oh cool.
Let’s go with it.
Yeah, I do like to the fact that she gets to pilot like 2 out of three of a public responders vehicles in this movie.
55:49
She gets to drive a police car, she gets to drive an ambulance.
She’s only missing the fire truck and she would have had a trifecta there.
Lovely.
What else?
What else?
I’ve I mean, I think we pretty much covered it.
We didn’t talk about the synth score, which I feel like is probably even though it’s, you know, fairly good.
56:09
It’s got like a nice little like synthy synth WAVY score.
It’s very minor, actually doesn’t play that much of A part in the movie.
And I would have liked to have seen it actually be a little bit more pronounced because I think it probably is one of the only good aspects of this movie that it brings some sense of like, non genericness to it.
56:31
I think, you know, if you’re into that sort of thing.
It’s got a pretty nice soundtrack.
I liked it.
I thought when the synth score came in, it was nice Carpenter style.
Like, you know, patches and notes and stings.
56:49
The problem is, it’s not that the it’s not that the score is underutilized.
In fact, the film is just plagued with the score.
Sure, ever, ever present omniscient, it’s always there.
57:05
But the fact that you got like in those moments like that nice and score like the highlighted to like, oh, something’s going on, like, you know, just like this random metal riffs and like Jimi Hendrix like style song like, you know, 25 minutes long and you’re like, what does this have to do with any?
57:31
I don’t know but.
Yeah, yeah.
You know I broke out the Star Spangled Banner, Jimi.
Hendrix, yeah.
Yeah, I agree.
I mean, I think you’re right that that the film is so steeped in trying to get like these like metal soundtracks in to kind of go along with the like the topics of the the that they’re talking about in the dialogue that they actually refrain from doing some of the more interesting elements, which is like the synth WAVY type score.
58:04
That would kind of signal like, oh, it’s kind of like a, you know, a Carpenter esque.
You know, I think towards the end it tries to take on those Terminator themes, as I said, where it’s, you know, it basically is riffing pretty pretty hard on the Terminator theme.
But you know, it’s does it too far between to really, you know, call attention to itself.
58:24
I wish it had more of a just a traditional like organic synth whip.
And the other thing I would say too, is that it it seems like the film tries very, very hard to avoid using actual Christmas songs because it’s like too cool for Christmas songs or something.
You know, I guess the dialogue hints at like, no, I don’t want to watch a Christmas story.
58:43
I’m too cool for that.
Like I don’t celebrate any Christmas things at all.
I go the opposite.
I don’t I you know, I think it’s again a little bit try Hardy in that sense, but whatever anything else when we didn’t tackle.
59:01
Excuse me, I think that’s it.
I think we covered it so all right so on a scale of zero to 10 amazing mullet mustache combos, of course we have to rate that I know I mean you we know you rate the mullet mustache combo 10 out of 10 for this guy if you actually he.
Looks he that man, you know our lead man is so dashing and handsome and beautiful like.
59:26
It’s funny too, because if you look at what he normally looks like for other movies and like, you know, his photo shoots and stuff for IMDb, he kind of more looks like Sean from Boy Meets World most of the time.
So it’s like, I mean, I think he really should he should stick with the the mullet mustache combo.
59:42
It really works better.
But anyway, what would you give?
He should listen.
He should have been like play the month for like 12 months straight.
This right, I think he probably was had to abandon.
59:59
You know she doesn’t fucking.
Pay him well, he’s the only other employee so.
You know, I mean, like, but God damn, though, it is beautiful.
And I wish I could fucking grow that now because it’s like, I did like the line when they were in the bar and like, getting, you know, the shots and stuff in the sheriff’s log.
1:00:18
Easy.
They’re super cops.
Like, like, that’s pretty.
That’s pretty good.
You know, pretty good, Pretty funny in spite of the fact that, again, all the cops at the station are robbed, zombie ified.
And it’s like everyone’s got to look like it’s, you know, 1974 mutton chops, biker stash, you know?
1:00:37
But yeah, so out of beautiful, wonderful, delightful mullet and mustache combo, I’ll give the film a 5 out of 10 soundtracks good for the most part, like the synth score.
1:00:54
The idea is fine enough, fun enough.
But the film’s just poorly written.
And I wouldn’t say poorly acted really, or made.
Like if it doesn’t look like it’s cheap or anything, it does look fine dandy with the concept.
1:01:13
It does not live up to its potential and all the fact that it’s so Rob Zombie ified where it’s just like the first act of Halloween.
You just want to shoot yourself in the head when it comes to this first act and 3rd act.
1:01:32
It’s just very bland and boring and forgetting, forgetful.
It’s a robot.
Santa is not killer, is not live anywhere near up to its expectations.
It could have done a lot more, been a lot more creative with kills, though.
The kills are good in the sense that if you want gore, this film does give you the gore.
1:01:51
It lives up to that bloody because any time somebody gets hit with an axe or split open with the axe, their heads like literally split open, blood everywhere.
So it is gory if you like that, but the idea itself just doesn’t live up to the potential.
1:02:09
As you said.
I think a special or would have been much more fitting.
I think if you condense this down to like a 45,000,000 like Creepshow style special it’d be much more interesting and engaging.
But overall, because of the plot and the dialogue is so sophomoric, it’s just like if you’re not within the Nisha of like you like that style of Rob Zombie style dialogue and storytelling or you’re a teen, that’s like, whoa, this is cool.
1:02:44
It’s not going to be for you.
So 5 out of 10.
Yeah, I would agree with that.
I would give it a 5 out of 10.
I think that’s what I originally gave it to.
I you know, I didn’t watching this the second time, I didn’t really like it anymore.
I think it’s pretty basic in the way that it presents everything like on the surface and what you see on the poster and everything that is exactly what you’re getting.
1:03:04
Dion lighting a robot Santa that’s basically sounding like deadly Knight with a robot.
Not really engaging movie content for the most part, annoying characters that are, you know, straight out of a rod zombie movie that you, you know, basically cuss all the time and you know, make make dark jokes and offensive jokes.
1:03:25
And I it’s it’s very over the top and probably for most people pretty unlikeable.
And so I think that’s going to turn a lot of people off from the movie.
But if you do stick around, you know, what you get is some some OK kills that here and there, you know, do have some good gore to them, but are, you know, overall pretty basic in the way that they present the kills with this traditional axe killing.
1:03:50
And, you know, overall, I think it’s kind of a boring movie, even with the robot Santa element that drags on too long, the neon lighting and the 16 millimetre blurriness of the, you know, the grindhouse aesthetic you’ll either like or you won’t like probably I, I, you know, again, I’m more of a traditional lightist for Christmas.
1:04:11
So, you know, to me, the neon doesn’t really, I mean, it’s very colorful movie.
Don’t get me wrong.
I it doesn’t really scream like Christmas to me or anything.
It’s it screams like 80 strip club or, or at the same time, like, you know, it’s there’s a definitely pales in comparison to something like Suspiria, which also utilizes very, you know, over the top drastic lighting and colours, but does it in a nuanced way and to a point instead of like just draping everything in neon everywhere.
1:04:48
So, well, the Italians can do colour because they can’t dump.
That’s right, yeah.
And I they at.
Least got that down.
And I agree with you, I think that this movie, it does, it definitely doesn’t look cheap, doesn’t seem cheap.
1:05:04
You know, it’s definitely has a lot of, you know, whatever the budget was, it certainly makes use of it and you know, it’s well made enough and well acted, but I just think that it’s overall not a good idea or plot line and you know, suffers from that.
1:05:21
So 5 out of 10 for me.
So all right, so that’s our episode on Christmas.
Bloody Christmas.
We got one more episode in the on deck before we hit Christmas.
Try to get that up early before December 25th so that it’s up in time for Christmas and I don’t exactly know what it’s going to be yet, but.
1:05:45
We’ll see.
We haven’t.
We have not actually really planned this, not at.
All.
Yeah, no, we’re just kind of doing it week to week.
So I guess we’ll find out what it is as we get there.
So yeah, thanks for listening to Christmas, Bloody Christmas.
Hope you enjoyed it.
1:06:00
Hope you’ve been enjoying our Festivus series.
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1:06:18
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Again, thanks for listening.
1:06:34
Hope you enjoyed.
Hope you’re having a good Christmas season and until next time.
Take care.
