As Buffalo Bills fans, we couldn’t resist checking out Hallmark’s new holiday movie based around the Bills mafia. And of course, with our track record of covering Christmas Hallmark films, it only made sense to “tackle” this nauseatingly naive movie of yuletide cheer. Tune in to see what we say, and hear Martin reminisce about Bills teams of old.
We’re also drinking DuClaw’s Pastryarchy: Peppermint Imperial Stout!
Approximate timeline
0:00-15:00 Intro
15:00-25:00 Beer talk
25:00-end Holiday Touchdown: A Bills Love Story
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Transcript – Holiday Touchdown: A Bills Love Story (auto-generated)
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0:01
Raindrops on, roses and whiskers on.
Kit, welcome back to the fest of the series, ladies and gentlemen at the Blood of Black Rambad cast.
This year we’re celebrating the season with new and old.
We might be bringing you some romance, couple of Santa Claus killers and a whole lot.
0:22
More.
Stay tuned all Christmas season as we dive deeper into the holiday hits these.
Are a few of my favorite.
Things oh oh, oh, Merry Christmas everyone.
0:38
Welcome back to the Blood and Black Rd. podcast.
I’m Ryan from closeplaystation.com.
I’m joined with my Co host Martin.
How’s.
It going, oh was it?
Were you the elf?
It’s Festivus.
I thought you I thought you were an elf there being doing some nice because.
0:57
We’re doing it.
We’re finally doing ELF after a decade.
We’re finally doing ELF.
Yeah, no.
We haven’t done that.
I actually just watched it the other day because yes, we are into the thick of the festive season when the the TV channels start airing.
1:16
They’re very lazy. 24 hours of Christmas movies.
So like the other day TBS was running 24 hours of ELF because why the fuck not.
Well, you know what?
It’s because nobody’s sitting there.
1:31
Like what?
What are you watching TBS for?
These days.
Agreed.
Agreed.
And and not only did did they do elf, but then the next day I saw they were running 24 hours of Christmas vacation.
It’s like, guys, do we not even have an AI programmer over there?
1:49
Like thinking about what’s going to be programmed for the next, you know, month of Christmas showtimes.
You just got to.
You’re just going to show one movie for 24 hours, remember?
It used to be a wonderful thing with like ABC Family presents, like 25 days of Christmas movies and at like 7:00 you’d like a new movie every night to watch.
2:10
And like, it was like a nice little novelty, you know, in the mid 2000s when TBS did do on Christmas Day, you know, 24/7, you know.
Which they still do.
A Christmas story, you.
Know yeah, but I mean still like I think like what you’re talking about is more just the I mean like what are they going to program?
2:30
Yeah, they’re probably like you’re just going to watch shit on like Netflix or on Max.
They’ve so they just, they’re like, yeah, fuck it, you know, I mean, like, it used to be great, like Spike TV, like how do I get into James Bond so much?
Well, from like 2000 to 2005, they did Banda funds for Christmas and New Year’s.
2:51
So it’s, you know.
Yeah.
Well, anyway, I, yes, I, I did watch Elf the other day, but that’s neither here nor there.
That’s not what we’re here to talk about today.
We are starting Festivus series, though since we are into December and we have a very truncated schedule this year, we don’t get a lot of time to do the Festivus series.
3:12
Sometimes we get a few, you know, I get like four or five episodes.
This year.
We’re getting a very abbreviated schedule.
I think we’re going to we’re going to just squeak in four and I’ll probably have to post the last episode like before Christmas because it’s going to be really tight.
3:33
But it’s it’s crazy how this year’s Festivus worked out, but we’re still going to get it in and it’s time to start it this year.
Well I was going to say because Halloween took up 9 episodes.
Yeah, Halloween took up 9 episodes and and Thanksgiving was late, so everything is thrown off a little bit.
3:50
But we do like to do Festivus series around here.
Festivus series traditionally has been a lot of Christmas movies, but it doesn’t necessarily have to be.
A lot of times we do cover adjacent Christmas movies.
It’s not necessarily all about having to do with Christmas.
In this case, I we haven’t really set out the full slate of movies, but we do.
4:09
I have a a good thought of what we are going to be covering this year, but the first movie that we wanted to pick.
We’re doing the Hebrew Hammer.
Finding I got yeah, yeah, no, this movie I wanted to pick because it fit into a lot of niches that we do we like to try to do at least one like contemporary or newly released movie for the festival series.
4:38
So check because it just came out actually came out just I think a little like maybe a few days before Thanksgiving actually.
And the other thing is it is a Hallmark movie and if you’ve listened to us two years ago we did a Lacey Shaber Hallmark special called Shaberin Gifts.
5:00
You can go check that out.
I think we did like 6 episodes on that or something.
Because 5.
Five.
Yeah, because it ended into the New Year’s.
Yes.
And then last year we did the new, the newest Netflix one because she was too old.
For that’s true, they threw her off Hallmark.
They said, whoa, what’s going on here?
5:19
Looking a little bit haggard.
So but yeah, this this new one, this is a new release.
And I will say also a preface this by saying coming into the movie I was feeling like I would be probably left out of the loop because this is technically a sequel movie.
5:40
Is it really?
Yeah, there was a movie that was released, I think it was last year in this series.
It was not.
It was the same idea, but this different team.
It was the Kansas City Chiefs.
It was a holiday touchdown.
5:56
Kansas City Chiefs love story.
You know what?
Why didn’t you fucking tell me that?
I’m now I’m very angry.
Right.
Because I didn’t want you to feel like you were losing something watching this movie before the first film.
6:12
So you know.
And it’s awesome, you tell you tell Hallmark that there are nothing but a bunch of God damn whores and pouring.
Out and not only that, but I also I didn’t want you to feel any you know any need to go out and do some research on the Travis Kelsey Taylor Swift relationship that they have going on because you would need to have you need to know all that lore before you can understand the chief’s love story.
6:42
Of course, it’s even more interesting to kind of imagine like they really are truly are related movies and like they just keep moving from different stadiums and they trying to find love and it just fails every time.
Then that’s an interesting Hallmark special.
6:58
I think more interesting than what we end up getting.
But neither here nor there.
We’re talking about the new Hallmark movie Holiday Touchdown, a Bill’s love story.
So, so stupid.
The name it’s alone is just, the idea is just so stupid that we had to do it.
7:19
We just, it’s right up our wheelhouse.
And me being a Bills.
Fan exactly that’s the other thing is that we’ve done enough bills beers this you know bills and Jason beers this season.
It may only make sense now to do the Bills Hallmark movie tie in because, And actually, we probably should have saved one of those Bills beers for now for the.
7:43
Listen, we were like, I didn’t think we’d do it right away.
I think I thought eventually we’d get to this, you know, thing, but I didn’t think we’d, you know, we’d be as topical, as topical as we usually are.
So you know.
I moved it right on up to the topical list.
It’s it’s going to be so tangential to the rest of our Festivus series.
8:06
But I mean, but still, no, I mean, that’s part of the fun.
No, you’re right.
It, it is such a fucking stupid like, like just like so shallow and like, like, wow, how can we tie in Hallmark like the suburban wives who love Hallmark Christmas movies and try to get them to like, wow, football, you know, this is great.
8:41
Is this really I’m going to find fucking time really a lot of fun?
This one caught me by surprise too, because I didn’t really know.
I didn’t hear anything about it until like maybe just before and my dad sent me over a link that was like, hey, have you seen this?
8:56
You should have.
Martin Watch just going to be on next week.
I knew about it because it was like on the bill, like, you know, with the bills, like, you know, being like, oh, make sure you watch this movie.
You know, they were promoting.
It.
Like I had get like, get little things or see on their Facebook page like, yeah, you know, like, and I was just like, that’s so stupid I.
9:15
Didn’t even realize it.
So it caught me by surprise.
But the, the whole idea that and you know, to, it’s kind of a smart idea.
I’m not going to lie.
It’s kind of, it’s kind of a smart idea from Hallmark.
Because you have to imagine like the crushing weight of the pressure every year that somebody in the Hallmark department that’s slated to, to green light these Christmas movies has to feel every year when they sit down, you know, like probably January 5th when they come back from vacation, Christmas vacation, they’re probably sitting down.
9:51
And like, all right, well, when Christmas is over, we got to start planning on next year’s slate of movies that we’re going to release because the Hallmark Channel has the ambition of 60 new holiday movies to be released next year.
Well, they’re the they’re the Roger Corman of these movies.
You know, absolutely.
10:07
They’re just we’re, we’re, we’re having, we had Christmas yet I know Romanian Christmas, a holiday, Bucharest, you know.
And that’s kind of what I’m getting at is like the whole, the crushing weight of like, what haven’t we done?
What haven’t we done?
We did a bakery.
10:22
We did it.
We did veterinarians.
Yeah, we did.
Yeah.
Yep.
Zookeepers.
Yeah.
No, we did that one, too.
And just like running down the list of like, you know, professions.
What if we?
What if we did ghost?
But this time, instead, it’s about Steve Irwin guiding inhale his his his life to find new law.
10:45
Like, you know.
So, so I what I’m saying is I think it’s kind of a smart idea because it gives Hallmark a lot of leeway every year.
They can just plan on like, all right, we’re going to be on location at the Rams stadium, you know, this year and we’re going to shoot one over there this time.
11:05
And you know, it gives them some leeway.
How dare you?
It’s Sofi.
It’s Sofi.
OK, so if I feel stay there.
I like, I just, I, I feel like it, it, you know, it opens up a very large gamut of possibilities for Hallmark to collaborate with other.
11:23
How about FIFA?
FIFA Next, you know.
For the World Cup, Hey, listen, listen, we know.
We understand that because of everyone thinking we’re a bunch of fucking goonie goober dip shits with ice and stuff.
11:38
We need people to actually be able to come in and watch the World Cup.
I know Hallmark Trump needs you to have a FIFA World Cup love story where they’re going down to the Meadowlands and they’re going to watch this little team called Azerbaijan Clay.
11:58
You know, that’s play play Greece or something.
It’s going to be wonderful and they’re going to find love and they’re going to littleize the as special and you know it’s going to end up winning winning the World Cup.
It’s going to be magical down the Meadowlands.
12:14
What a wonderful time.
You know how?
About a, you know, an Australian version of cricket, holiday cricket, you know, the possibilities are endless for this.
So they can run through all the NFL teams.
They can start with different, you know what am I saying?
12:34
Different sports run through all different sports.
Holiday holiday in Edinburgh, the Scottish.
Yeah, so, so again, the the Sky’s the limit here.
And it, you know, this is the second, I believe it’s the second in a row that they’ve released a holiday touchdown film.
12:52
The first one was obviously a definite attempt to cash in on the Taylor Swift, Travis Kelce paraphernalia and merchandising that’s available with the Kansas City Chiefs team.
13:08
And this year, you know, there’s it’s not unheard of to think that they were trying to cash in on, for one thing, Josh Allen’s marriage, the Bills kind of popularity spiking.
And then not only that, the new stadium that they’re building for the Bills, which as we’ll talk about when we get into the film itself, it is almost like an advertisement for the whole stadium itself.
13:33
It’s it’s like basically like Kathy Hochul started funneling a bunch of money over to Hallmark saying, hey, Hallmark, any interest in helping to promote and kind of give positive remarks about this new stadium that a lot of people, Bill Buffalo fans included, are not really that excited about for the stadium?
13:58
You know, you can help us try to drive any positive encouragement for the the stadium.
So it seems like they were doing all of that at once.
And and we’ll talk about how how they touchdown kind of expands on all of those ideas after the break.
14:17
But let’s take a break real quick and talk about the holiday Christmassy beer that we have on the show today, because that’s going to be a a, the thing that we’re going to try to do throughout our next 4 episodes is to have sort of a holiday holiday theme going on with our beers.
14:35
So with that said, let’s talk about the beer that we have on here.
So, yeah, the beer that I got, I think it was like last week picked up along with the other pack of stuff that we got was one that stood out to me because I think we had seen it before and it obviously has a holiday, you know, relation to the, the season.
14:58
So it was one that I, I wanted to try out.
And we’ve also, I’ve also had a few of the different beers in this series before.
So, you know, I, I have that FOMO.
So I, I like to try all the beers in a series.
So this one’s from Duclaw Brewing Company that is from New Jersey, and this one is in the Pastry Arnie series, like Patriarchy, but for pastries, obviously being the pun.
15:29
And this one is the Candy Cane Imperial Stout.
Now, I will be honest here, I don’t think this beer is in production anymore.
I don’t think that they’re releasing it.
So if you were to go out and try to find it, probably won’t be able to find it unless they have an old one available near you.
15:47
In our case, our beer store did have an old, a few old ones and I had a feeling it was, but I wasn’t positive and there was no candidate on it.
So I just took a chance because it’s an imperial stout and the dates don’t really matter in the same way that something like a hoppy beer or like a sour beer would would matter.
16:12
So I said, you know what?
That’s an imperial stout.
I’ll be I’ll be fine if it’s out of date.
So they sell it for us basically.
So we got the the Candy Cane Imperious out in here.
I’ll let you go first.
I’ll let you tell me what you think about the Candy Cane.
16:28
Imperious out.
Well, because you were saying you wish you had something more bills themed for the beer.
You actually hit the hammer on the nail here because like 7 different times in this movie, Santa’s giving out candy cane, you know, so it is a nice tie in the unexpected unplanned 1.
16:52
But it’s a nice I like it a lot for stout very, you know, especially in imperial stout 7 1/2% very easy, you know, drinking warming big candy cane, peppermint, you know, taste.
17:09
Obviously not a fan of peppermint that can’t you know, big candy cane taste not going to be for you.
Nice like cocoa chocolate, little bit of coffee notes on it, very, you know, nice Hardy body on it.
17:26
You know, it’s not bad at all, especially for like the the style, you know, if it definitely fits the season.
So I’m, excuse me, surprised because I’m not a big, you know, I’m not that big of a stout guy these days.
17:45
For the season, this hits the mark.
So not bad at all.
Yeah, I think this one is pretty good.
I think that Duclaws Pastry Archie series tends to be pretty good.
Their imperial stout itself maybe a little bit lacking on the stout department.
18:03
I think it’s it’s not bad, but it’s probably not the best stout.
So that kind of brings some of the adjuncts that it adds to it down a little bit.
In this case, the candy cane stout is kind of growing on me as I keep drinking it.
At first I thought it was a little bit too bitter with the this sort of stouty mocha Y chocolate notes that were in the stout.
18:24
But as it had been going on, the candy cane is definitely very prominent, very peppermint Y like.
Again, it has notes of like a peppermint mocha style at times.
So overall I think it’s pretty good.
It’s not the best peppermint style I’ve had, but I think it is pretty good.
18:43
And you know, I definitely would recommend anybody who is looking for a holiday beer try it out because it definitely has sort of a all of the things that you would be looking for in a holiday type beer like this, You know, from the peppermint to the, the hot chocolatey notes, all of that kind of lends itself very well.
19:01
So pretty good beer.
Again, like I said, I don’t think you’re going to be able to find it unless you do happen to find some that’s been stored away because it’s not currently being made in production.
And I think that this patriarchy line in general was a sort of like limited release.
19:18
And once they move on from the style, they move on like there’s no more.
They’re not making it anymore.
So.
But anyway, pretty interesting.
Nice.
Nicely tied in with this movie today.
So serendipitous there.
Great word, that word.
19:36
All right, let’s talk about holiday touchdown, a Bill’s love story.
I know you said going into this episode that you had a lot to discuss about this movie, and I don’t doubt it because this again, there’s there’s a there’s a real danger in opening up a can of worms like touching on Buffalo Bills lore and history that this film does that kind of lends itself to criticism from real hardcore fans.
20:04
As well as people who are on the other side of things.
They are tuning in because of the love story.
And they’re like, why is all this Bill’s nonsense about, you know, who are these old men that keep showing up and they keep making big deals about them?
I don’t.
I’m like, Oh my God, it’s, you know.
20:22
Yes.
So I guess I’ll let you go 1st and take it away.
And you, you guide us where you want to go first.
All right.
Well, I just want to say First off, before we even get into the film, one of the biggest issues I have with this film is it’s so shallow and it’s like, you know, Bill’s dumb.
20:44
It’s very like, again, Bill’s Mafia chicken wings, beef on wreck when it’s too cold for them.
It’s just right for us.
Where would you rather be then right here right now?
21:01
It’s just very shallow.
And I feel like the film was made.
I mean, it’s fine, Dean, because those are all like, like, you know, Bills, thanks.
But I feel like the film was mainly made because it’s just a giant advertisement to be, like, just the Erie County alone and New York State to be like, hey, guys, we know nobody wants this new fucking stadium and us to pay for it.
21:29
So we’re going to, like, sell it to you.
Like, can’t you wait to go to the new Highmark Stadium?
It’s going to be great.
Doesn’t the stadium look great?
First and foremost, this is something that really got me pissed off when they’re talking about like, we got to have our last Christmas picture at the stadium.
21:47
Yeah, I remember my first time at Highmark Stadium.
If you’re a God damn fan and you’re referring to that stadium, the one before when Joe Pantaleone’s talking about War Memorial, the rock pile, which you know, you would have to be Joe Pantaleone to like know about that because again, the stadium was for their days in the AFL and closed.
22:08
You know, they got the stadium that they have now in 73.
You’re either calling that stadium rich stadium if you’re really old or the Ralph after because it was named Ralph Wilson Junior.
You know, stadium until new Era field man.
Hi Mark.
22:24
Nobody calls that fucking thing Hi Mark.
Nobody called that thing New Era when it got the name.
You’re either calling it Rich or the Ralph.
And because I’m a millennial and with like knowing millennial Bills fans, it’s the fucking Ralph.
Don’t insult our intelligence.
22:41
Nobody goes around and says hi Mark Stadium, by the way, like what they might as well have said to you.
Like by the way, you know what?
I I became a doctor because Highmark, ha, you know, Blue Cross Blue Shield insurance is a really good.
It’s like basically like when we saw Tim and Eric live and they’re doing like Aetna health play.
23:02
I love my health insurance.
It does so much for me.
I love Aetna.
You know, it’s the same thing here, like stop.
Like I get it.
It’s you’re, it’s a commercial.
You’re trying to sell the stadium, the new experience that’s going to be coming.
23:20
But then it just pisses me off because one, a lot of people aren’t going to be able to afford to go to that new stadium.
I’ll probably never go to that new stadium because I’m not going to be able to afford it.
I’m not paying $300 to go to a fucking football game, drive 4 hours there and four hours back, you know, spend 12 hours out all day doing that.
23:39
And just for like, you know what, especially now with like HDTV and stuff, you can just enjoy it at home.
The novelty of that kind of experience is gone, especially now too, because a lot of people are like, oh, you can just why don’t you get a hotel?
Do you, do you want to spend another $100 on A1 nightly hotel to like, fuck that, you know, so, but I mean, it’s so like, you know, that’s, that’s why the Ralph as it is now is like a shithole of a stadium.
24:04
And you’ve been there.
We’ve been to, I’ve, I’ve been to about like 10 games in my life.
You’ve been to one with me and as glorious as in the winner you so you know from experience too.
They got pissed offs.
You know the the the seeding is, you know, a fucking aluminium bench.
24:25
It’s the no thrills experience.
But that’s what makes it like when you go, you know, that’s what you know, when you go to that, you’re like, yeah, you know, This is why the tickets cost $50 instead of 250, you know, and not and not only.
24:43
Attitude.
This movie, when they show them in the stadium in December, This movie was shot in like August.
There’s no fucking way everybody is sitting in that stadium nice and comfy, like watching the game.
Like net doesn’t look cold, doesn’t look, you know, no one’s freezing.
25:01
There’s an ogling over a cup of hot coffee because it’s so cold that this like the only heat that you have available to you.
I had to.
The game we went to there, it was in the last game of the year.
It was Bill’s Jets at home.
25:16
Chan Galey was getting fired at the end of that year.
And everyone’s saying like Nah, Nah, Nah, Nah.
Hey, hey, goodbye Galey.
And I had to buy an extra pair of socks at the fucking at the at the, you know, the store because my feet were so soaking wet from the mush and shit like, ’cause there’s snow to shit ton.
25:37
I bought a nice Timmy’s.
That’s another thing that pisses me off too.
They’re at these like like, oh, we’re going to be like, this is so billsy, but they’re so bourgeois.
Like he’s your sugar cookie caramel frappe at this engineered coffee store.
And it’s like, if you’re going to have him standing around talking around, where’s Tim Horton’s?
25:52
You know, when I got my Tim’s Hortons coffee and I, that’s the one thing that was keeping me warm on that day.
That and the bills did actually win.
And my mom and my dad were sitting in two rows, like in front of us, Ryan and I.
26:07
And I asked my dad like, hey, who’s calling the game today?
Like, like for CBS or whatever.
He just looks at me, grabs the program, whips it at me, fucking knocks my coffee out of my hand and all over me.
And there went my warmth for the game.
26:24
But like, like, like, like where?
Like where’s that?
Like it’s so bourgeois and like, just like tepid.
Like, you know, people not like when you talk about like, you know, when people are like, oh, Buffalo, like the working class city, it’s like, well, this what definitely took place out in the suburbs because these people weren’t experiencing Buffalo forever.
26:45
I yeah, I agree.
I’d like and I think the film itself is, you know, I, I, I feel like they do try, they try to get the things in here that people would recognize.
You could just imagine like, you know, they were, what they were hoping for was somebody that was a Buffalo fan or somebody lives around Buffalo or Aurora or whatever.
27:08
They would be sitting back watching this movie and they would see like, fiddlers and they’d be like.
What they got, they got.
Fiddlers in there, you know.
And like very.
Excited.
That’s like the one reference I didn’t get because like, even though I have family that lives out that way, you know, that lived out in Depew and stuff like A5 and dime out in Buffalo fiddlers, you know, this it’s not not on the list of things like.
27:35
It, it like they drop, they drop these things in there.
And like, I do appreciate that they did the research of like, OK, here’s a, you know, store that’s been around for years and, and let’s get us in here because it’s a, it’s a, you know, a trademark of, of Buffalo.
27:52
But at the same time, it all feels really cheesy and cringy.
A lot of times the way that it’s been, it’s presented to the audience because it’s in such a like very in your face fashion like.
And we’re like, even when they have the the sign for the hospital because she’s a doctor, the the main, the main protagonist is a doctor and she works at a Children’s Hospital.
28:18
And they like the film makes a point to like two or three times get a centered shot of the the hospital name just to be like, here you go, like we’re centering you.
Here’s where we are in Buffalo.
And it just feels really, I don’t know, just very obnoxious the way that they present it.
28:40
And what I think is kind of interesting about that.
Oh God, I mean.
I was going to say, like, same thing too, like the opening, like you hear Steve Tasker and Chris Brown, like, you know, give it like, I don’t know if they have like a morning radio show.
I don’t think they do.
Chris Brown is the Bills radio play by play guy now.
28:57
He was for a couple quite a couple of years with John Murphy, the like a color guy and a sideline guy.
But he took over after John Murphy’s health issues and he had to retire.
But like, and and Taskers been doing like radio and like CBS stuff like for forever.
29:16
I don’t know if there’s like an actual like morning show that they have.
So it’s like really weird to start it off to have like Steve Tasker here at 6:00 in the morning.
Where else would you rather be that right here right now?
And it’s like.
Yeah.
Like, you know, just the really hammering home.
29:32
Like this is a Bell movie.
That’s right.
And I really like, I find it really interesting just looking at the information about this movie, that the writers on the movie, Vanessa Morano and Danielle Morrow, they’ve never written anything else.
29:50
OK.
They’re not writers.
They’re it’s not like they were the crack team over at Hallmark.
That was like, all right, we got you setting down the countdown to Christmas movies over here at Hallmark.
And you know, we’ve got a writer’s board that’s just going to be cranking them out over the course of the year.
30:07
Now, the the two people attributed to this movie are two people who have never written a movie before.
One thing, they’re primarily actresses, and then secondarily, they are from across the country.
They’re from California, both of them.
30:23
And it’s like and it’s like.
So in the scheme of things, why would you have these two people, these particular two people sitting down to write a Bills, a Buffalo Bills romance for Christmas?
I just don’t understand it.
30:40
And it kind of, I mean, I find it funny.
Again, they did some research.
So at least we have that, you know, there is some research done to get, you know, obvious locales and, you know, and I I maybe I shouldn’t even attribute that so much to the writers as to the point that where they probably put in like in the script, like generic Buffalo place here, you know, like.
31:03
Or ChatGPT.
Yeah, they, they go to Buffalo’s, you know, Mafia house and, you know, just wrote it in the script like that.
And then when they got to Buffalo and actually shot on location, they’re like, OK, here’s where we’re going to shoot.
These are the here’s the places that we’re going to do.
31:20
But, you know, it’s kind of weird because it does come off as like, very, like you said, kind of ChatGPT asks of like, what would Buffalo Bills fans do if they were in Buffalo you?
Know.
And if it was very neutered, you know who should have written the story?
31:37
Nick Pakai.
Yeah, Salem the cat.
And you know, Dag Norbert from Angry Weirs.
Daggy Waggy and Big Buffalo.
Fame, fame.
Bills fan him and Brian Dunkelman are the two.
31:52
And oh, and Summer Sanders.
That’s right.
Wolf Blitzer likes to claim he’s a Bills fan, but I I go fuck him you.
Don’t claim him, Buffalo.
No.
Why claim Wolf Blitzer?
No, the one when they finally made to the playoffs in like 2017, he’s like, I’m Wolf Blitzer here in THE SITUATION Room.
32:11
And I just want to say, well, you know, it’s been a while, but you know, I was a writer in Buffalo for two days.
So go Bills.
And, you know, like, that’s like something that should have been like mentioned like when they were talking about like, what’s your favorite game of all time?
32:27
Well, it’s got to be the 2019 Patriots game against in the playoff, which is a great game.
You know, where they absolutely destroyed them and make made them look foolish and all that.
But like nobody was like nobody said, especially with like because the the film is very 9 very 90s, early 90s Bills laden because it’s all the heroes of lore.
32:50
You know, you’re from there from Scott Norwood and Andre Reed Tasker, you know, Thurman Thomas, Jim Kelly.
You know, it’s like no one was like, well, the wild card game when they, you know, the greatest comeback of all time against the Oilers like that.
No one said that.
Like, you know, that that would have been easy.
33:06
You know, is it’s just it’s just silly.
And not not only that, though, too, where where is like my Bills fan, like the millennial who lived through all of that, like heartbreak and pain, Like they’re just like, like the only time frame that exists in this like these spans hearts are the 90s and then the modern Josh Allen era.
33:31
Where’s my fan going?
Like, all right, we went from Drew Bledsoe to JP Loftsman to Kelly Holcomb trying to add words to IEJ Manuel, the Ryan Fitzpatrick, because, you know, just like listing like all the nasty like years that we had as a team.
33:54
You know, there’s a misery in pain, you know, and that you know, and that’s the sad thing too.
I mentioned, I think I’ve mentioned before on the podcast, but like now that I’m older and like I’m not as invested in sports, like when I was young, even in like college, I like live and die by like these games and like be it ruined like my week if they lost.
34:13
And these game where Stevie Johnson dropped the fucking ball in the end zone against the Steelers and he’s like, why you do this to me?
God on Twitter and stuff, or you know, like that shit broke me up.
And now it’s just like, because they’re good.
I expect things, but I’m just not nearly as invested and like, it’s just funny to think about because it’s like, man, I like I do kind of miss the days when they were dog shit because it was like they were dog shit.
34:39
I was riding there dying like, come on, we got this.
We couldn’t do it, you know, and you know, never did.
What do you what do you think about the the cameos of all the players in this this movie?
Like you said, it’s it’s too for like, like the the players from the team now that they brought on fine, you know, there’s no real big stars like, you know, Dion Dawkins’s lineman DeMar Hamlin and.
35:05
There’s no they didn’t get Josh Allen.
Josh Allen is not.
He’s too busy.
They got, they got McDermott, though.
He was there, you know, you know, talking it up for a little bit to coach.
But I mean, for like players of old like that, yeah, like, would have been nice that they saw juice running.
35:21
You know, a lot of people forget OJ Simpson before a murderer.
He double convict, double convicted in civil court.
Not in the lies, the law, though. 2000 yard runner for the Buffalo Bills.
35:38
Nice.
Yeah, Yeah.
I mean, I, I, but like, it’s fine.
It’s fine that they get the players in because I think that is actually again, like sort of a reference because because to be honest with you, at the end of the day, this movie is very, very tangentially about the Bills.
35:56
But, you know, forget all the other stuff, like all the backdrops of like outrageous, like Buffalo merch and, you know, stuff that you see like Christmas lights decorated as blue and red and white and stuff like that.
The bombs and yes, in the glitter pom bombs, all the glitter.
36:15
Forget all that stuff, you know, because that’s all set dressing.
That’s that’s easy.
But when it comes down to the actual film itself and the plot of it, it really is very tangentially related to the bills at best, because the film is constantly like looking for ways to be like, how can we actually involve the Bills in this movie?
36:34
You know, like what?
Like what does this even have to do with the Bills whatsoever?
You know what I’ve never done in my life as a die hard Bills fan?
Been with like somebody that I’m hitting on been like, just think about it.
Where else would you rather be though?
Right here, right now?
And they’re like, what at this shitty bar?
36:51
And are you hitting on me?
Isn’t this all like, isn’t this all tied together?
Isn’t this all great?
Like like it’s sort of like, just like, like I said, it’s very like, it’s just like, it’s platitudes basically like, just like we’re going to like every basic thing that like a fan would know, like, you know, OK, RIP it off and like, well, it’s up through a table, but they’re not drinking blue light and like hammering this shit like, you know.
37:24
They only make jokes as an aside about that sort of thing.
You know, like the one brother-in-law or whatever who’s like, oh.
Man, I can’t take my shirt off and drop to the table.
That guy looked like Aaron Rodgers.
You know a.
Little bit, but like I said, you know, the the plot itself is just you know, if you did not have the Bills paraphernalia and everything and cut and everybody, literally everybody in Buffalo and Aurora in the surrounding area saying I’m a fucking a huge Bills.
37:52
Fan.
Literally everybody proclaiming from the rooftops, like, you couldn’t, you can’t.
They’re like vegetarians.
You can’t go anywhere without somebody saying I’m a fucking Bills fan in this movie.
There’s no one around that says like, actually, I grew up in, you know, LA.
So I I’m not a Bills fan.
38:08
Well, that, no, that’s the opener when she’s at the bar in the Bills Dolphins game and, you know, the guys, look, I lost my shoe.
Isn’t that funny?
She’s like, couldn’t give a shit.
And it’s like, yeah, I know, you fucking dork.
Like.
And she’s like, oh, you know, and he’s like, this isn’t working.
38:24
Yeah, you seem like disinterested.
And she’s like, all the game’s on.
When they score that touchdown, you should be yelling like, scratch that, fish.
Like they wouldn’t be like dying touchdown against the dolphins.
You’d be yelling like squash that face fuck, you know?
I just love it though.
38:41
I just love that like.
And then you know what’s great, though?
If you get a bad date, apparently at that bar, guy gives you a Moscow Mule.
That’s what it is for free.
That’s for free one.
Dollar outskirts of Buffalo there, you know it’s no one’s going to be.
38:59
You think maybe that’s that guy’s going to be the love interest because he’s like, hey, whatever you got, pick that guy up.
Don’t do that again.
Here’s your Moscow Mule.
Merry Christmas.
Like he’s a handsome guy.
He’s.
Rugged, you know, I know, I know I that that’s, that’s, that’s something they’re getting a getting a nice Moscow Mule for free.
39:19
But even in, even in the copper mug, too, like it’s like, like, you know, after, after I get done pounding a Baker’s dozen of garlic Parmesan wings and some scalloped potatoes, I like to wash it down with a nice small Scorpio.
39:41
I guess do what I was trying to say is with no, no, with the with the film so tangentially related to bills when you like really boil it down or the overall plot itself is extremely tepid.
It it is just has very, very little going on.
39:58
The whole idea is that basically the our main protagonist, Morgan, it, you know, obviously looking for love, right, Because that’s a Hallmark movie and she has a friend, childhood friend, been friends for many years and they’ve just.
40:15
I thought this was a Hallmark movie, not an anime.
They just, you know, they can’t, they just always been platonic.
But his, his name is Gabe, and he’s a very handsome man.
But they just, you know, they just bat each other’s lashes at each other and stuff.
But they’re just friends.
40:30
And they’re trying to find the mystery gift sender to Joe Pantoliano’s character, Uncle Tommy, who gets a whole back story about I, when I came back from Vietnam after I got drafted, I, you know, was a different person.
40:48
And we, we just never reconnected.
And so the whole idea is that they’re doing this sort of like mystery search of who is sending these, you know, secret admirer gifts.
And that’s the whole movie.
That’s the whole movie is two or three visits to a the local store, the five and 10 viddlers to find a receipt.
41:12
Which, who bought the gift?
So, like a couple of things.
First off, this film should have been made in the 90s because one, yeah, I was a lamb and I came back and like, I, you know, your mother and like, the kids that couldn’t afford any meals on a buck private salary.
41:35
So they were getting secret gifts like groceries and the Christmas gifts.
And it kept going on for years.
And hey, even after I got back from Nam and we tried to figure it out and it’s like the man’s like 80 years.
Old.
41:51
And they’re like, I wonder who couldn’t have done that?
It’s like the person who probably was doing that is probably dead.
Like, yeah, exactly.
Like you think about it.
It’s like the people that you’re thinking about probably could be doing this.
Is that not?
Granted, he got something that year, but still, it’s like the funniest.
42:08
What makes you think the person is still like?
Yeah, the funniest thing is when they get the receipt and they’re like.
We found the address.
We found the address.
It’s like, yeah, they lived there 50 years ago.
I know like that house.
Like.
Is in Hallmark movies they never right?
42:25
Yeah, but also too also too the idea of like we got all the receipts 50 years back.
It’s like no company saves receipts. 50 years they just save them in this nice attic that they have of just like receipt after.
The yeah, the ornament overflow station and also where we keep the receipts.
42:45
Well, this when somebody needs to return one of these little knickknacks from 1970.
I guess.
I guess at Piddlers, I guess, I guess that Vandlers, it’s like Craftsman.
Like it’s like I’m worried too.
That’s right.
And did you say you bought that?
Hold on, get him.
43:00
Go upstairs and pull the receipt.
Like it’s so fucking stupid, like such a.
Plotting is so Luke warm of just like so even even if they do end up tracking them down, which they do in the movie.
43:17
And it’s just like what is going to happen when you track down this this person who keeps sending them like Bill’s paraphernalia?
Like what?
Who cares?
And I think that the other the whole the whole part of this movie that’s really seems outlandish is the fact that it keeps bringing up Vietnam and such like a Hallmark Y type of like quirkiness of like, Oh yeah, he got drafted to Vietnam.
43:39
It was like a full time.
He got to experience exotic locales.
Like, you know, they the film does never treats it like the seriousness that it really should be treating something like that.
And it almost feels like the, again, the writers were just tasked with, like the NFL said, make sure you include a reference that we like to salute our troops, you know, because that’s a big thing with the NFL now is like the whole fucking military fly over in the Saludar servicemen and all that kind of bullshit.
44:11
You know, just, you know, grandstanding that the NFL does now.
It almost seems like it was a mandatory thing that the film makes note of a service member so that it could have that whole sequence at the end of the movie where they’re like, look at us honouring servicemen and women who who served possibly against their will in the Vietnam War.
44:36
I don’t know, I just.
Yeah, Like, it feels very yucky to me.
It feels like, you know, taking real situations of people who were unfortunately sent to war for really poor reasons and then like, just making light of it and just like, look, look how good Joe Payton is doing.
44:57
I’ll say, well, they do show like that.
Like, yeah, like he wasn’t like he didn’t sign up.
You just drafted out of school and all that.
Let’s say they do show that.
But again, you’re right.
It’s very like Vineet.
Like, you know, you don’t see him sitting him in like, yeah, when I got back to now, you know, I went and I helped my mom out and the kids.
45:19
And then your dad died and I was like, well, I can’t have sex with women anymore or do anything.
I got to raise this child.
Like I raised kids and I’ve been celibate for 50 years.
It’s also.
Another thing that I found very peculiar about this movie is like why did Uncle Tommy have to ditch his entire life?
45:39
Because her father died.
It makes no real sense to me.
There’s like what has she got?
No, her mom can’t work What’s going on here?
Like, you know, she can’t be a single mom, but without the help of Uncle Tommy here, like what’s what’s the deal?
I don’t I don’t I don’t quite understand it.
45:55
And I think too, the film has like sort of it’s.
It’s it’s like this Mormon esque like very like, you know, I like again, like because like again, because like the whole like, oh, we’re getting Gabe.
We don’t know what we want.
46:13
Everyone’s like, oh, you want to fuck?
And it’s like, you’re 40 years old, you’re a doctor and like, and you’re sitting there going it’s like, come on.
Like it’s like these people are too old to be doing the whole like, I don’t know how I feel.
46:31
It’s like OK Shinji go back to Ava getting the robot and come back when you.
You know, I also, you earned that beard.
Yeah.
I also think that I I just refuse to recognize that like, you know, a professional doctor working in like a very large hospital system in a prestigious position and a guy who is tasked with complete like, you know, designing the entire fucking stadium for some reason.
46:59
Like, you know, for the new, the new stadium and the Bills are getting that they’re these stadium people are just completely inept at every other part of their life besides, you know, being professionals.
It’s just I don’t know.
47:14
They’re too autistic.
That’s why she handles the children so well.
And like, they’re so.
Yeah, no, no, it’s like they’re like, super perfect, like, fine human beings.
But when it comes to like, I don’t know if I want to tell her I want to put a pinky in her asshole.
Like, come on, you know, Gabe is a handsome man.
47:33
You think at college he wasn’t like, you know, having ladies like just, you know.
What?
What do you think about?
You know, shooting their panties at them like, you know, like from a slingshot.
Like, come on.
What, what do you think about the whole idea of Morgan on her day off, going into the Children’s Hospital to coax a girl, a little girl who can’t take a needle?
47:55
That’s like the most outrageous thing in this movie.
I don’t, you know, I don’t care about.
Anything.
She’s just so sweet.
And not only that though too, she did that.
The insurer took notice and is going to bill extra because the the fucking nurse couldn’t get it in there and like you had to call it the guy.
48:14
I can’t even imagine.
I can’t even imagine a situation where the nurse was like, sorry to bother you doctor, we have to give a life saving medication of antibiotics to this little girl.
She’s going to die in two hours, but she won’t let us put a needle in her.
48:31
Can you come in?
Here, she’s very afraid of the needle.
You know, 45 minutes in traffic, can you come into the hospital and help her see with the needle?
That’s what this film doesn’t talk about.
It’s actually this whole film’s actually just a fever treatment from that child.
48:46
It’s when she doesn’t get her medicine because she’s being so, you know, fidgety about the needle.
And now it’s, you know, a make a wish time.
And that’s like Mark Hamlin, them all show up.
She’s she’s knock, knock, knock and out of heaven.
That would that would be turn around if at the end of the movie it reveals like, yeah, sorry, this was actually all make a wish.
49:11
Wow.
Yeah, yeah, there’s a lot of avenues that this movie could have taken to have been a lot more interesting than it is because at the end of the day, this movie is super milk toast.
And it’s milk toast because it probably even more so than I would say some of the other Hallmark movies that we did with Lacey Shaber, which again, there were some movies in that Lisa Schubert string that we did that we didn’t really care for because they were goofy.
49:35
You know, they, they didn’t have as good of a plot.
But in this movie, it’s so milquetoast because it really has no real plot to it.
And the problem with that is that it actually, you know, it has like 2 different tangents that it goes on.
It has this whole Uncle Tommy, we got to find a really nice present for him.
And it has the bills thing that tries to incorporate.
49:53
And neither of those things really work very well.
And they kind of clash with each other and it doesn’t really come together until the end of the the movie where they’re like, let’s just get them in the stadium.
You know, like, let’s just, let’s just get them in there and we’ll deal with the aftermath in the, you know, you.
50:08
Got to be doing a bad job when Santa Claus is constantly like just tell her that you want to fuck her.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
This movie does take advantage of the whole idea of like street Santa is the real Santa, you know, which was dealer with Christmas with the Kranks and you know, they ran, took experience, took the.
50:29
It’s a miracle on Abbott Palace.
And as you said, that Santa Claus is very, very much similar to Clancy Brown.
He’s a very, I thought at first was Clancy Brown before he said anything because he kind of looked like him and I was like, God, this movie’s going to be excellent.
50:47
Clancy Brown.
No, it wasn’t.
But so I think, but like I like I said, like a lot of sorry, go ahead, go ahead.
Oh no, that’s OK.
I was just going to say I think he just really looks like Clancy Brown in Santa dress, which makes it seem more like Clancy Brown is just looks like Santa.
51:09
I think his man, the man is basically Santa Cross.
He’s just just Mr. Krabs.
Yeah.
What do you think about, like you said.
So again, a lot of, like, good food being shown, but like, I have a lot of umbrage with some of the things.
OK, Lemon pepper wings.
51:28
Well, good.
Yeah, well, good.
Who’s ordering lemon?
Pepper.
Yeah, probably not my my first pick.
For sure.
Two.
I’m one.
I am glad they don’t say Buffalo wings.
They did they?
They seem to because there was no mention of Buffalo Wild Wings.
51:44
Yeah, no, no, no.
I’m surprised they didn’t have like duffs or like, you know, plastered all around or I’m drawing a blank on the pizza sponsor that Bills have but or like a Wegmans in the background.
But like, I’m glad they don’t say Buffalo wings because I I’ve mentioned before on the podcast people who call chicken wings Buffalo wings wrong.
52:09
They’re just fucking chicken wings.
Yeah, if you don’t ever say Buffalo wings, you’re trash. 2 Like the whole like smorgasbord they’re having like while they’re having the party in the beginning, like Steve Sharp was like, here’s the wings.
Here’s just, I got the beef on wack.
52:25
And it’s like just like they’re running through like everything like this is Buffalo.
Where else can you get a beef on wack?
You can’t anywhere else.
It’s in Buffalo.
And it’s like, who’s like getting like that mountain of food, like 20 beef on wax?
52:42
Like, like, you know, apparently Bobby Bacola has got a lot of money to spend on this shit, you know?
Like how do you feel about burning the Stew?
I have Stew on football night.
Like what the hell is that all about?
We burned the Stew.
52:59
How do you?
You can’t burn a Stew.
It’s a Stew.
It’s literally built to be like sustained, like sustainable food.
Like I don’t like that had me crank it up because I was like, what do you mean you burn like Stew?
53:17
You cook a Stew.
You cook a Stew low and slow so it’s impossible to burn the Stew unless somebody ran behind the trigger or something like turn the heat up.
Like it doesn’t make any sense.
Like you don’t.
Stew in the oven.
For some reason they started cooking the Stew.
53:35
I don’t know.
And then Uncle Tommy, he’s like, I can fix it.
I know what a fixed burnt stool.
You know you.
Know though, Joe Pantoliano, I have to say, I think he literally just watched him in another movie too, Feast of the Seven Fishes.
53:51
And he plays like, sort of like a, you know, he’s like a Italian, Italian guy in sort of like a mafioso type role.
But he’s like, it’s kind of like tangential to the movie.
Like, it’s just kind of hinting at like, yeah, he’s probably in the mafia, but like, he’s a little really nice guy, you know?
54:07
And he did a great job in that movie, and he does a great job in this movie.
And he really holds this movie together because I feel like without him, his Uncle Tommy, this movie really doesn’t exist.
There’s like nothing.
So, so you’re saying Steve Shripa is not enough to carry?
No, Steve, you’re saying you’re, you’re saying Bobby Bacala is not enough to hold this, this whole fucking thing together?
54:27
No, I’m a little upset that they’re Italian.
Like, why aren’t they Polish, you know?
Yeah.
Make it more realistic like you know.
I I I think that Joe Pantiliano is the glue here that holds it.
Together.
He’s sitting, he’s sitting there looking at the ornaments and he’s like, I know this is bullshit, but I feel it, taste it.
54:53
Yeah, I think I’m into the Matrix.
I think she she brings at least a little bit of energy because I would say that, you know, and I don’t, I don’t necessarily want to say that this is the fault of the actors.
Like, I don’t know that Holland Rhoden and Matthew Daddario are bad actors.
55:11
And they certainly you can tell that they’re better than, you know, some of the other people that show up in this film that are like, you know, either extras or even the players or the yeah, secondary, you could tell that they they they are better than them.
55:27
So I don’t want to say that it’s their acting ability, but the way that they’re written is very boring, right?
Like both both Morgan and Gabe are boring people.
They’re they’re just absolutely boring.
They have no real personalities.
They only think like in in an.
55:42
That’s just their.
Job and it’s just their job and family.
Exactly.
It’s just their job and family and most of all, it’s just bills.
And I feel like that’s, you know, that’s.
A problem, yeah, go ahead.
And again, like I said, like, because the if you’re tying it to the bill, like, you know, being a Bills fan, it’s so, you know, tepid and so like, oh, very generic and it’s it just doesn’t work.
56:05
I don’t think they do a bad job.
I think the film for like the main cast parts, like again, Joe painting on the best part, obviously.
And you can even tell like what like at parts and he’s like reading his lines and stuff, like he’s kind of looking at the camera and like this is bullshit.
Like this is just a giant commercial.
56:21
But like they don’t do like like how Rodin and Matthew Daddaria, they don’t do a bad job.
It’s the problem is it’s a Hallmark movie and it’s meant to be a fucking shot like a soap opera, have the cliches of a soap opera.
56:38
And it’s like, again, how many Lacey Shapiro films did we watch?
And it’s all coffee walk and talk stuff, coffee, walk and talk and stuff.
It’s the same thing here too.
They do the same stuff.
It’s just a matter of the style of films that Hallmark pumps out that doesn’t, like, allow for a level of real engagement because it’s not interested in that.
57:01
It’s interested in being pulp.
It’s interest like in just being easy disposable pap for people to consume.
Yeah.
No, I agreed.
I agreed.
And I mean, I think it works.
You know, obviously Hallmark is.
57:18
It’s not offensive, No, there’s nothing offensive about it, but it’s there I go again, like the mileage of like I wonder about the the people who sit and watch this stuff and this is like this is it like like like like like this.
57:34
This is the this is what scratches the edge.
Like I feel the same like about my mom when she sits and tells me like, Oh no, I I watch channel 6 all day.
So she watches CBS6 all day and she prices, hey, you know, the Wayne Brady Show, the days of our lives, the bold and beautiful, young and the restless and at the news.
57:57
And it’s like every day.
And it’s like, who is this for?
Is it just for 70 year old people Like I don’t?
Know there’s probably a few people out there who are like, if I don’t get my next Hallmark holiday movie, I am just going to end it.
I this is it.
58:14
Well, time to time to say goodbye.
And you know what I do, I’ve known a few people who were who literally were just followed Hallmark movies.
They were like, there’s a new one next week.
And you know, that’s, I mean, there’s kind of a nice thing about that of just like being able to look forward to the expectation of something like this.
58:34
That’s very, like you said, very pappy and just overall, you know, just a very like easy going, entertaining mix of of positivity, I guess is what I would call it.
Now.
58:50
At the same time, do you feel like these Hallmark movies and like something like Holiday Touchdown has like an overall, I won’t say offensive, but like a a ridiculous level of naivety to it?
There’s like, to me, there’s like a little bit of this, the sickening naivety of the film that’s just like we are going to intentionally refrain on touching on anything that might be a little bit of a downer, you know, that’s like what actual reality seeping into this movie.
59:24
It’s the only.
Time you ever see somebody like be impoverished and like struggle busting and like they somehow make it into look at that someone was nice enough to bail them out.
And like you said too, even even the child that’s in the the hospital is not a sickly child.
59:42
It’s not like we’re in a cancer ward or anything.
It’s just like a kid who’s in there and is like, yeah, I needed an immunization.
Like I’m in the hospital, but I I just needed like a couple of shots and I’m good to go.
You know, the film is so, so naively positive that it it, it almost feels like it’s.
1:00:02
Just not part of reality.
And I think that that’s, I don’t know, it’s.
It does, but I mean, again, that’s just a Hallmark staple.
It is.
It is.
Like the, it’s so like, like sanguine, like just like what?
1:00:18
Here’s our like, oh, here’s our like tailgate party and like it’s a heavy one’s all together and you know, you know, got the potlucks ready.
What do you drink?
I’m drinking the cider, you know.
The thing that strikes me too about this, when I say, like, Naive, is that this movie doesn’t even have any conflict.
1:00:38
The conflict that it really has is that the whole point of where they get to the where they actually find Uncle Tommy’s mystery sender and she says she doesn’t want to be revealed.
And they’re like, Oh my God, we can’t tell him now, like.
1:00:54
That’s you, bitch.
You bitch.
Yeah, I know.
She’s 80 years old, just like Thomas.
I know.
I don’t know if I could tell him that I like him.
Because what if he says no and it’s like you’re 80?
Five.
I’ve lived my life alone.
I can’t let that.
1:01:12
Let that go, Rose.
Let it sink into the sea.
Like, like boat like it like it’s just stupid because Joe Pete de Leon makes a little bit more sense.
It goes back from Nam.
He went looking for couldn’t find her and he’s like, I should probably McDonald, whatever.
1:01:30
Yeah, that’s what his life.
But the fact that she’s the one giving the gifts every year and she’s like, I don’t want him to know.
And it’s like you’re both knocking on Death Story.
And.
You probably haven’t had your diddle or diddle by, you know, a nice goatee in a long time.
1:01:47
So, you know, like it’s just, it’s just silly.
It’s I like that’s the thing.
That’s not just these movies, but that’s the thing I hate about like stuff like this is like, again, you’re treating these people who are 90 years old like their children, like they have like these toddler brains.
1:02:03
The man went off the Nam.
I’m pretty sure he banged a whore or two over in Saigon.
Like just like, you know, don’t treat it like it’s like just this big Catholic service or something.
Like just, it’s just ridiculous.
It’s just so stupid.
1:02:20
I agree.
I agree.
I think like.
It it takes us going to the last Bills holler, which again is funny too.
How do you know the last football game of the year at like for Christmas time is going to be in Buffalo?
Like, you know, it’s not every year they get those types of games, but every year we go to a Bills game around Christmas time.
1:02:40
We take a family picture at Highmark Stadium.
It’s so it’s just so steep.
You want to know.
I’ve actually been to a Christmas game for the Bills.
Oh yeah.
Yeah, 2016 Bill’s dolphins squish the fish.
1:03:00
Nice.
Christmas Eve.
It’s Christmas Eve.
Me and my friends from work, we went up to the Ralph, not Highmark Ralph.
We brought 2 bottles of Jägermeister.
I brought a 30 package.
Any cream, buddy?
1:03:17
Scott Key was handing out Jager to everyone.
He’s like, are you old enough to drink?
I don’t care.
Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas you got.
We went to the field house.
Santa was there.
We all sat on his lap, got a picture with him and we’re like, Santa’s like, what do you boys want for Christmas this year?
1:03:32
And we’re like just the Bills win Santa.
He’s like, I think they’re going to win today.
Merry Christmas.
We lost 34 to 31 overtime, but it’s the most yards at that time, most yards the Bills ever put up in a game.
1:03:49
I don’t know if it still stands or not, but 528 yards they put up that game.
It was a heartbreaker.
Not only that, though, too, the funniest part about that whole day, it was a, you know, it was a fun time.
Was this poor kid after we had been, you know, passing out that Jager bottle.
1:04:10
We were on Jager bottle too.
We’re walking like our seats are like by the tunnel at the Ralph.
And there’s this kid with his dad and this kids wearing a fucking Packers hat.
And we’re looking around and they’re like, oh shit, Skokie’s, But where’s Skokie?
1:04:29
He’s going to probably say something to that kid because he likes to say to people if they’re wearing football, if you’re ever at a Bills game, and if it’s Bills, whoever, and somebody’s wearing shit that’s not that team that’s there.
He likes to yell at him, hey, wrong town, wrong team asshole.
1:04:46
You’re looking around like, oh shit, Roscocky.
Oh, he’s up there handshaking, everybody saying Merry Christmas.
He gets down to our seats, looks that kid dead in the eyes.
He’s like, hey, little buddy rubs his head.
He’s like, Merry Christmas, man, What are you wearing to pack a hat for?
Wrong town, wrong team, asshole.
1:05:02
They’re not playing.
The dad just sat there, didn’t do anything.
It’s beautiful.
What do you think about when they do the the whole like flag football?
Well, like, like the pregnancy and everything, when they’re in the stadium watching the game, what do you think people would just be like?
1:05:23
What the shut the fuck up?
And Bill Stadium they would, I feel like they would not be responding with like claps and and whoops and hollers.
Yay pregnant lady.
You know, I don’t know.
1:05:38
It’s just that’s my other, my pessimist and at heart again.
Not only that, I say not that though, too, with the salute to the service, like they’re only saluted like usually it’s like a group of soldiers and they’re like, I’ve had this one here and it’s like I want.
And they don’t ever let them talk.
1:05:54
They’re not like, you know, yeah, go go out there and be wish somebody a Merry Christmas.
And she’s like, I want to wish you my Aunt Merry and me kiss me, you know, because she’s waiting.
And he’s showing.
Like, it’s just so stupid.
This is just so stupid.
1:06:10
And again, like, I don’t say I don’t think the movie is like horribly bad, but it is cringy and it it definitely makes me, I don’t know, a little bit uncomfortable with how upbeat and uplifting it is at times of just like, you know, out of really reality for how it is.
1:06:26
But I don’t know what else, what else?
What?
Else can we talk about I think.
We pretty much covered it.
I mean, again, this is a Hallmark movie, so we, you know, we obviously have a bias.
I love.
1:06:42
But and, and we have a bias that Lacey Chabert was not included in this this movie.
I would like to think that she was given the role, but turn it down.
Perhaps she’s not a Bills fan.
Well, she’s from 7.
1:06:59
She’s either from Alabama or Arkansas, so.
Yeah, so probably not.
Probably not interested.
All right, so I guess we have to give a rating to Holiday touchdown, the Bills love story.
So out of zero to 10 Clancy Brown Santa Claus look Alikes and his beautiful wife Cindy Claus, who’s who’s just looking for the eggnog, you know, and Cindy claws handing out what I like to think of as spiked drinks at the local Viddler’s.
1:07:36
I know for free going to Cairo Cade.
No, you’re going to Cairo Cade, Here’s some drinks on the House and I don’t know what they were, but I like to think it was probably some mulled wine or something so they can go with sailings.
Ma’am, I’m Jewish, I don’t give a shit.
1:07:52
I don’t care.
You’re going to Carol, Kate.
OK, Sing dreidel.
Dreidel out there.
I don’t give.
A shit dreidel dreidel, dreidel.
They did.
They did have a menorah or something in the background and.
No, they did at the Fiddlers.
1:08:07
Yeah, yeah.
That’s.
Nice.
Little listen, Carol.
Carol Kate Little disappointed Why is it always like Deck the Hall so like we can’t like.
Come on, that’s the only thing.
Yeah, the scene.
Is and like, how do you feel like if you’re the guy in those carols, not just in the Carol cake, but in every situation like this, and you’re the guy that’s like, I have a bad hairline, Yeah, no one loves me.
1:08:32
And I have to be the guy that wears like the stove top, the Victoria stove top top hat.
Like, you know, I’m that one Caroler that has to bring that on.
So everyone knows like this.
It’s like Dickens here.
It’s right, You’re the guy that like everyone else is like, I’m just going to wear these like dollar store light up Christmas lights around my neck and he’s.
1:08:55
In some earmuffs and maybe a scarf, but you got the one, the one lone trooper who’s like, I need my I need my Victorian stovepipe.
Whoa, why did you go raid the local theatre?
This.
Maybe you know what?
1:09:10
Maybe that’s what it is.
It’s always like some like thespian from like a theatre that’s constantly getting rejected and he’s like, this is my pig moment to go out on the street and say deck the halls with balls.
Yeah, you’ve always got that one guy.
1:09:26
What are balls?
Balls of Holly.
Yeah.
What?
What was that?
I think it’s bows.
Bows.
No, I know, I know.
But like measurement like, there’s that.
The balls of Holly.
I have 4 balls of holly.
1:09:42
Like I never understood that part like that how like bows that like.
Yeah, it’s a measurement like hands used to be in the feet.
Got 7 hands all right.
What would you give?
Holiday touch?
Giant bills?
Love story.
1:09:58
I’d give it a 5 out of 10.
It’s not a bad film.
It’s fun enough.
If you’re a Bills fan, watch it just to see the and like how like depending on like how cynical you are here.
If you’re like sitting like me, you’re probably going to be like, this is fucking stupid and tripe.
1:10:15
But you might be like if you’re older and more kind of a soul, like this is wonderful.
It’s not a bad film.
It ain’t great though.
It’s just a 90 minute soap opera film with very tenuous plot.
1:10:35
Mary can try it.
Mary Hallmark, you know, Gene Roddenberry of Star Trek would be proud.
There’s no conflict.
There’s no, you know, nothing really carrying the film forward.
It’s like, you know, Joe Pantilone is great.
1:10:50
He’s fine.
Everyone does a fine enough job.
But again, like, it’s not the actor’s fault.
It’s just this is what these type of films demand from the cast and crew.
So, like, if you’re like a Bills fan, I’d say check it out just for the novelty of it.
1:11:07
If you’re a sucker for these kind of very, you know, saccharine sweet holiday films, give it a shot.
If not, there’s no reason for you to be watching it.
So five out of town, that is what it is.
1:11:24
Yeah, I mean, I would pretty much agree with that. 5 out of 10.
I’m not going to be a Grinch here and say, you know, like it’s a horrible movie.
It’s fine, especially if you are already very much akin to what Hallmark brings to the table for these Christmassy movies.
1:11:41
Again, you can’t really ask for anything more Christmassy than a Hallmark movie.
Like that’s one thing, one area of the budget that they do not scrimp on.
It’s just like growing up Christmas everywhere in the backgrounds.
And so that’s fine, you know, and again, it’s it’s very much situated within this holiday season.
1:12:03
I think that it’s it’s fine enough.
It’s fun enough, It’s entertaining for what it is.
Although I would definitely say that the film itself is very, very lukewarm in the way that it presents any sort of plot.
It’s just kind of just things happen and they, it’s like a very truncated scooby-doo episode where they’re like, we need to find this receipt.
1:12:29
And like that’s the whole movie is they’re searching for a receipt and then they find the receipt, but the name is scratched out and they can’t see what the name is.
Like.
That’s the level of mystery that we’re working with here, you know.
So I, I would say that the film has a really kind of boring and minimalist plot, but at the same time it’s fun enough feel like Buffalo Bills and you’re really not too critic oriented.
1:12:59
I would say you probably will like this.
You’ll just like all the cameos and appearances and stuff like that.
That’s fine enough.
And that’s why I’m giving it a 5 out of 10.
And I think people will enjoy it for what it is.
And you know, I don’t want to have my bias cloud this movie any more than we already have in the discussion, so.
1:13:19
And like I said, I would say, like I said too, if you’re especially if you’re a Bills fan, like it, part of the reason why I hate it is it’s such a shell for the new stadium to like, hey, like new stadium guys, come on.
It’s just, you know, it’s just like the the the commercial now, like like how commercial it is, is like what like for the stadium and the team is ridiculous.
1:13:42
Like, no, we had we have set, I forgot to mention this like, oh, we don’t just have Buffalo Bills throw pillows.
We have 716 ones.
Yeah, because that’s what that’s the Oriental code and which again, fine branding by the Pagula family because before they bought the Bills, they owned the Sabres.
1:14:01
They owned both of them now.
But once they bought the say the Bills too, they wrapped it up into one big thing. 1 Buffalo, 1 Buffalo, 7161 Buffalo, you know, so cool.
But it’s just so like the shilling is just ridiculous.
1:14:17
Like, you know.
Yeah, I, I agree with that.
That is definitely true.
This was an advertisement for the Bills and there’s no wonder that they bit on it and basically said there’s probably contractual things that are like, you need to get the players here.
1:14:34
I don’t care what you do.
You need to get a few of the players in this movie.
You need to get the coach in this movie.
You know, it’s just kind of like I, it seems like an ad.
And I think the same would probably be true of the Chiefs, especially the popularity of the Chiefs last year.
1:14:54
So what who knows?
What are we going to get next year for the the holiday touchdown movie of the year?
Who Who do you think would be the best NFL team to be the third in this series?
The Jets.
You think The Jets, The Jets, The Jets, honey, how how are they touchdown?
1:15:12
Oh, Jets losing just.
See, that’s why it’d be great.
Like I’ve been a fan of this God damn team since name is God damn Super Bowl and we can’t fuck it every years of God damn fuck those guys like I.
1:15:32
I’d be hilarious if there was there was like.
Down on Staten Island?
Fuck it, here’s Pete Davidson.
They should make the they should make that Jets movie and at the end of the movie they don’t get together.
Yeah, I decided to get back with my boyfriend who used to beat me because he’s a piece of shit.
1:15:55
He’s a piece of shit and he’s a giant spin.
They actually win every now and then.
Whoa, it’s hilarious.
You should give.
The Jets next, Yeah, we can write it.
1:16:14
We’ll write it for them.
Don’t, don’t, don’t get these people who haven’t written a a script before.
Hi.
Or us.
One of the Bills games I went to it was like 2017 is opening day is 2017 and 2018.
1:16:30
The opening day was against The Jets.
They had a fucking fuselage there for you to slap.
Like a jet fuselage for you to take a hammer and bang the shit out of.
It’s just like all I can think of.
1:16:47
I wonder if it’s the plane from 9 or what.
So oh God that and the guy yelled that and the guy yelled to get Mohamed Wilkerson because we were like front row yelling at Mohamed Wilkerson, The Jets defensive end.
1:17:04
Like hey Wilkerson, you look like you eat Bratwurst and peas.
Still don’t know what the hell that means to this day, but it’s one of the funniest things I’ve ever heard in my fucking life.
All right, well, that’s our episode on Holiday Touchdown, the love story.
1:17:23
We’ll be back again next week.
This is like.
This is like the first time you’ve like actually stuck to calling it by the full title.
Yeah, the whole, the whole title.
You have to because everybody’s going to get confused with the the chief’s love story.
Of course.
They’re such, you know, they’re, they’re household names.
1:17:43
A A holiday touchdown Did Travis Kelce give you chlamydia?
Yeah, so we’re going to continue Festivus series all December long.
We’ll be back again next week with another episode, another holiday themed sort of force.
1:17:59
And hopefully you stick around.
I think you’ll enjoy it.
We’ll have copyright free tunes playing in the background so you don’t need to worry about your your caroling.
And yeah, it’s going to be a fun time for Festivus, so.
1:18:17
Check your Saxon Yule logs.
Yeah, that’s right.
Yeah, Saxon Yule, if you like what you hear, subscribe to us on pretty much any podcast app that you can pick up or an Apple podcast or home based Spotify, whatever you use, we’re on it.
So subscribe, leave us a nice review.
We have a Facebook and Blue Sky.
1:18:33
There’s a search for us on there Blood and Black run podcast.
And we have an e-mail address at one of my [email protected].
You can write to us, let us know what you like, but you don’t like, what movies you want us to watch, and we’ll take that into consideration.
You can also donate to us on our Patreon page.
Anything you donate goes back towards beer, so we appreciate that in advance.
1:18:51
Thanks for listening to our episode on Holiday Touchdown.
Hope you enjoyed, hope you love the Bills.
We’re hoping for another at least playoff season this year and hopefully more.
So with that said, thanks for listening and until next time.
1:19:08
Take care.
eneck like he’s Gregory Peck and Goulet.
Yeah, no, it was awesome.
But yeah.
All right, well, we should end this, but definitely check out.
1:05:10
We’ll be back next week with our Festivus series.
We’ll be starting at and we’ll go all December long.
So you want to tune in for that.
If you want to get notifications and all that, you should subscribe on pretty much any podcast app that you listen to.
I’m sure we’re on it.
So subscribe, leave us a nice review.
1:05:28
We’re on Facebook and Blue Sky search for us on their Blind Micron podcast.
We are, we have an e-mail address at [email protected] where you can write to us.
Let us know what you like, what you don’t like, what movies you want us to watch.
We’ll take that into consideration.
And you can also donate to us on our Patreon page.
1:05:44
Anything you donate goes back towards beer.
So we appreciate that in advance.
Again, thanks for listening to our episode for Black Friday.
Hope you have a great Thanksgiving or had a great Thanksgiving and hopefully you don’t spend too much or go out too much on Black Friday and ruin a bunch of employees days.
1:06:00
So keep that in mind if you’re looking for the next big deal.
You’re ruining somebody’d life by going out.
So until next time, though, take care.
