Episode: Bonus • Duration: 00:19:05
Enjoy this bonus episode where we talk about Clive Barker’s teleplay episode for Tales from the Darkside, the Christmas-themed “The Yattering and Jack”!
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Transcript – Bobbing for Barker (Bonus) TALES FROM THE DARKSIDE: THE YATTERING AND JACK (auto-generated)
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0:00
This September hear the rattling of chains, see the master of illusions, experience the cabal of monsters, the purveyor of pain comes to Blood and Black Rum podcast this Halloween season with Clive Barker’s filmography in thobbing for Barker.
0:22
Hi everyone, welcome back to Blood and Black Rum podcast for a very special episode joining with my Co host Martin.
How’s it going?
Pretty good.
We’re we don’t normally do these types of bonus episodes and if we were a smart podcast interested in making money, we’d charge for them.
But we don’t make any money on the the show and and don’t necessarily attempt to.
0:42
We’re not charging for this one.
This is a special bonus episode of bobbing for Barker.
You know, an episode 1/2 episode, I guess you could say that we’re going to stick in here at the end of Bobbing for Barker just because it made sense to do this.
This television show Tales from the Dark Side because Clive Barker wrote an episode based off of his own short story for the four season series.
1:09
Have you ever seen Tales from the Dark Side?
No.
Never, huh?
I can, I can tell you from the title card, it looks like D tier.
You know, shows of that ilk like, you know, something like a Tales from the Crypt.
Yeah, well, this is actually George Romero’s design.
1:24
He’s a producer on this show.
So you’re right in the sense that, yes, it was sort of in the same style as Tales from the Crypt and sort of has a very similar structure to Tales from the Crypt.
1:40
Actually.
Tales from the Dark Side came first, to be honest with you, and it also was, like you said, a very sitting very well in the sort of syndicated TELEVISION circuit of telling these short horror tales with very low budget.
1:56
As you can probably see from the episode that we’re going to talk about here, that most of the the episodes were very low budgeted.
They generally took place in like 1 location.
You wouldn’t normally see them jumping from place to place in in an episode.
It was, you know, more so very structured in in one locale so that all the set design was sort of cheap, an easy to source.
2:16
I grew up with Tales from the Dark Side and I remember the opening when I was a kid being pretty, pretty spooky, pretty scary.
And now when you kind of will go and look back at it, it looks like somebody just walked outside and like shot their forest, like, you know, a nice pathway and there’s like, we need an opening quick, you know, get us a, get us some shots of the outdoors.
2:38
George was on a walk and he’s like, you can use this, you know?
Yeah.
We just need B roll here and then they do it sort of did like the inverse to, you know, to show the not so brightly lit dark side.
I think the the thing that really works about the opening is just like the the announcer, the narrator who’s sort of giving that and in this the synth score, very simple synth score.
3:01
Another show that is very similar to tales from the dark side is called monsters.
This one is even less well known than than Tales from the Dark Side.
It it was released shortly after Tales from the Dark Side ended and it sort of filled the gap of Tales from the Dark Side being missed from syndicated television monsters.
3:22
I think is even cheaper than Tales from the Dark Side.
It’s not my favorite anthology series by any means.
Has some good episodes.
And like any of these anthology series, they all have some hits and misses.
A lot of the episodes were more misses than hits, but interestingly enough, a lot of these anthology series Co opted some short stories to, you know, use as fodder for their episodes.
3:44
And this episode of Tales from the Dark side that we’re talking about is no different.
It’s a Clyde Barker story called the Yattering and Jack based off his short story, and he also writes the teleplay for this episode.
So it makes sense to do it as a bookend for bobbing for Barker.
And not only that, it is also leading us into the holiday season because it is one of the few Christmas episodes of Tales from the Dark Side.
4:07
So with that said The Yattering Jack.
Starts off with, starts off with the first.
Yeah, I love the, I love the set design of the gigantic T4 bulbs or whatever those are, You know, the the classic Christmas bulbs that you can just see from the outside.
4:28
Interesting design of the house, by the way, that the first shot that you see is him.
You’re inside the house looking out a picture window, seeing him entering his front door, somehow warping geometry a little bit in how this house is set up.
4:45
Because I don’t really quite understand the, you know, the, the physics of the angle there that we’re seeing Because it looks like he’s like probably 3 Doors Down, you know, at a different house, but he’s entering his own house.
But it is very cool.
Really sets the, the coldness of this Christmas season up pretty much.
5:01
And if you’ve listened to our episodes on the holiday season, you know that I love the 80s style Christmas decorations and stuff like that.
It’s just gives a nice feeling.
The first thing that comes to mind, though, when I watch this is the the father character in this is actually I wish I could be this man.
5:20
No meds, no nothing.
Feeling positive and not bothered by.
Yeah, yeah, exactly like this seems like a good, good way to be.
I wish I was more like that.
Who is who is sitting around being like you’re broke?
5:37
That foundation does not settle again.
I love it.
It’s like every time something unpleasant happens, it’s like the same ideas.
Like if you’re, you know, your faucet started leaking and upstairs and, like, you know, made a water damage in your ceiling and you’re like, well, you know, the pipes are bad.
5:56
I don’t know.
And you just like, Pop go around positive about it.
Like, I feel like that would be tough to do.
Yeah.
I love, I love Tony Carbone in this.
The way that he brings his, like, pleasantness to his character works really well for this episode and reminds me a lot of like the dad from A Christmas Story in a way.
6:14
Like just the way that he acts, the look that he has, you know, very classic feeling father dynamic that he has going on.
What do you think about the the the demon, the Yattering in this?
It’s like a reddish imp played by Phil Fondacaro.
It’s, it’s great.
6:30
It is like cracking me up.
Like we see like, you know, like him in like the mirror briefly and like, we don’t know, like he’s like, like an imp.
But when he shows up, he’s just, you know, fucking little.
Imp.
With this big fucking biker mustache.
6:48
And it was like Jerry Curl.
Like it looks so stupid but so insanely Clyde Barker.
Like, you know, yeah, I saw that.
I saw that one night at the club when you know this little guy at the bar and I was like, you know, going to make a story at you.
7:04
The cool thing about this episode is that it does really lean into the tongue in cheek nature of it.
It’s obviously not meant to be taken as a, you know, a scary tale about the demon.
And too often some of these tales from the dark side episodes would not lean into the more comedic approach or, you know, take itself too seriously.
7:25
This this episode is not doing that.
It is definitely recognizing that this is kind of a silly story.
You know, it’s it’s goofy and I like that.
I think that makes it more endearing because it it doesn’t try to take itself too seriously.
And you know too, it’s taking itself not seriously is very tongue and cheek by the fact that when Beelzebub shows up and he’s like talking about, he’s like you can’t touch them.
7:48
Don’t you remember from the Academy?
And then he pulls like he’s like Treaty of Job 6625, Rule 1, thou shall not touch.
It’s like, just like thinking about it like, Oh yes, the Treaty of Job that between, you know, heaven and.
Hell yeah.
8:03
Don’t you love like?
Like, you know.
This is almost like a fucking anime that, you know, the demon Academy that they’re going to, and there’s all kinds of rules that are set up like, you know, we may be evil, but we don’t break the rules.
You know.
Yeah.
God, God will have us in a pickle.
8:20
You know, if you break that, break the rules from the Treaty of like, that just had me cracking up.
Like it was like, that’s so fucking stupid, but it’s so funny and it works.
Like, and not only that, but like Beels above 2 is just kind of comes as like this very cartoonish devil character, you know, something that you might see in like a cartoon almost again, just kind of cementing that idea that you’re not really supposed to take it seriously.
8:42
It’s more like just a, you know, kind of a goof on being possessed or having a sort of a poltergeist type thing going on in your house.
It’s also fun that he shows up because the gathering has been bitching too much to tell them.
Like stop bitching and get me that soul.
8:58
Like he’s like, Oh my Lord Beelzebub, I’ve been praying for you to come and help me.
He’s like, shut up, I hear every time.
Yes.
I hear all your complaining, that’s why it’s hell.
Yeah, you just keep complaining enough Beelzebub will show up and and be like, you know, you need to get this done now, even if it is Christmas Eve, right?
9:17
Like, because Christmas Eve seems like bad business for Beelzebub and the Yattering to try to do their deeds.
Like, are you kidding?
Me I bet that’s great time like like you’re finding out like oh your your wife’s been like you know that’s true you know you know kind of throw yourself off a bridge or.
9:33
Something yeah, like, sort of like it’s a wonderful life.
It what if my life?
What if no, I wasn’t in this life.
Like what?
What would people do?
You know, you’re right because the holidays can be both, right?
It can be very joyous or it can be very depressing, depending on the lifestyle that you have.
9:48
And Jack is just like, you know what, let her free ball it.
I don’t care, you know, you know she, she deserves her happiness as well.
Which?
Which is funny too, because like he’s like, yeah, I tried driving her mad.
I like put so much lust in his wife’s eyes that she started fucking his friend and he just walked in the room.
10:05
Was it case like?
Yeah, that the way that it keeps coming back to Case, almost like it’s like Dead Poets Society sort of thing going on.
It’s very funny, you know?
And that becomes the line that he literally just keeps saying over and over.
Which I didn’t know.
10:21
That’s like an actual, like if that’s Italian, because I know that’s also in Spanish.
In Spanish I’ve heard the expression too, because I say it all the time like a star.
I’ll like, you know, like if something happens and I can’t really do it and I can’t say it to myself, like, you know, what will you be now?
10:39
Yeah, Do you get the carolers coming in the yatterings?
And it’s like, oh God, the Carol, you know, And it’s not because of the carols having some religious significance because they’re not very good and they’re just, they’re just collecting for the homeless.
Again, again, this is a trope in Christmas movies that I’ve, we’ve talked about a billion times.
10:59
I hate it because again, when do you ever see just people freely walking the streets?
You know, merrily dressed up like they’re in a Dickens.
You know a Dickens story like Deck the House well.
11:15
At least in this one, she’s not dressed up like a Dickens character, no.
But I mean.
The traditional 80s.
What do you instill the idea of like, come on, family, we’re all getting together and we’re going to go sing Like I like, I’m I’m sure that like unless like maybe it’s in like the Mormon world or something, like I feel like that would go homeless, you know, like.
11:37
I like how he gives the equivalent of like $0.30 to the homeless.
He did his duty.
I’m just joking.
I’m just anything helps, right?
Anything helps.
One thing I I want to say though, is if you know you have a possession going on or, or like a haunting going on of some sort, probably don’t have plates up on the top of your wall.
12:00
Like he’s got like on the wainscoting, he’s got like plates all around the room.
It’s like, that’s a, for one thing, that’s a bad what if the train’s going through?
What if, you know, you live in earthquake territory?
Not a really good use of the wall decor to put plates up there.
12:18
It’s your, it’s if it’s your finest China, you have to have it out for everyone to see.
I love, I love the thing that like that didn’t distrust me as much.
The man’s living alone, not expecting any company and he still has a full till Christmas tree fucking presents and he’s got like a Turkey and all this other bullshit to make sure.
12:40
And he’s decorated the whole outside too, because when you see them doing the caroling, you see like he’s, you know, done the Chevy Chase stapled it up the, you know, the doorway.
He’s got the whole thing decorated, which props to him.
You know, if, if maybe if I lived alone too, I might do the same thing, like, just for my own holiday cheer and benefit, I might still throw up the tree myself.
13:00
I don’t know.
My, I know my dad really doesn’t.
My dad doesn’t, unless he’s, you know, he might put it up like just haphazardly, like, here’s the truth, you know, But I don’t think he really spends a lot of time doing it himself.
You making that Turkey all by yourself?
I’m not making any Turkey.
13:17
I would pass on the on the Turkey.
And did you also see he had like the eggs on the top of his bag where bags is grocery?
They should have been fired.
Like, you know, it’s true.
That bag and his eggs are like, you know.
I like how they just threw a raw Turkey in the bag.
13:33
Just that, too, yeah.
Put the, Put The Who cares about salmonella?
Put the raw Turkey right in.
There sound a thing.
That’s what he says when he’s get salmonella.
He’s shitting his brains now, just on the toilet.
I do like too how when the Turkey gets up and just like eats itself onto the Christmas tree, he’s just like it’s too fresh.
13:57
I got a 2 fresh Turkey.
Should’ve got a fresh frozen.
Should have gotten frozen.
If you’re going to be making Christmas dinner, you can’t really go out on Christmas Eve and get a frozen Turkey to be feel like you’re going to be prepared by Christmas Day.
I think you’ll be sadly, eating, you know, Chinese food or something instead, which wouldn’t be that sad for me, honestly.
14:17
That sounds great.
I would prefer it to be, to be fair.
Yeah.
I like.
What do you think about the ending of this episode?
It’s really kind of abrupt, right?
Kind of just.
It’s abrupt, funny, but abrupt.
Like the fact that he tricks him with something so simple, like, you know, locking the door and then he touches him.
14:37
The one thing though, I find really out of left field and I don’t know if it’s in the actual short story or not, but the whole like, yes, I, my mother was a witch.
So these are how I know of all of these things that Beelzebub talked about earlier, you know?
Yeah, right.
Like just kind of it’s left for exposition to just be like, yes, you, you, you kind of got to explain how this man who is such a saintly person is like, I also want a demon slave, you know, you know, like he’s been, he’s set out his entire life to be like working for a trying to get a demon slave.
15:08
And it finally worked out for him.
He finally was able to do it.
Yeah.
It’s it’s, it’s really like just, I mean, it’s not awful, but at the same like it’s so like out of left field.
It’s like there wasn’t, there wasn’t like any hinting like they, you know, he’s, you know.
I think, I think that’s kind of how a lot of these Tales from the Dark Side shorts operate too.
15:29
They just have limited time to be able to like do that kind of heavy lifting for characters.
So they just leave it for the exposition at the end, like, yeah, we’ll explain it all later, no big deal.
I don’t.
I think I have read the Yattering in Jack at one point, but I don’t really remember the story that all that well, so I can’t say for certain.
15:46
I assume it wasn’t left to the end like that where it’s just like hey also come from witch lineage but you didn’t know that but.
Also too, Clyde Barker shown his Britishness.
Again, too, the man is a pickle salesman.
16:02
That’s yeah, I, I.
Haven’t really heard.
Of that as a profession, but.
Was going to say, in the Wikipedia it says he’s a Gherkin importer.
Not just for.
The for the short story, which would make sense that like if it was a short story, like, yeah, the Glory imports Kirkage, you know, but like just like thinking like it’s like think about, it’s like, wow.
16:24
Pretty, pretty specific.
Not just anything but Gherkins.
See, I guess somebody’s got to do it right.
Like, you know, it’s, it’s these types of things too, as like, you know, a former creative writer.
It kind of strikes me as it’s like probably something that Clyde Barker heard one time at a party or a conversation piece.
16:44
Somebody’s.
Saying, what did your father do?
Who’s a pickle salesman?
Really.
I’ll put that in my story.
You’re always looking for different professions.
That was.
A great wartime profession.
After the war, Yeah.
World War 2, You know, next to the milk man there your Gerkin salesman come around.
Absolutely.
17:00
Would you like a sour a bread and butter?
Nice, that would.
Be kind of fun if you yeah, milkman drops by, you know, drops off a couple of pints, then the pickle guy comes around and then the salami guy comes over and, you know, you’ve got yourself a nice little charcuterie board platter.
17:18
You know, you didn’t even have to leave the house.
I think that would be.
The milkman also brought some current cheese skirts to go along with our nice.
Charcuterie.
That’s right.
Anything else you want to add about the Yattering Jack that we didn’t cover there?
I mean, it’s a fun.
It’s a fun little thing.
17:33
Yeah.
I think like if it was like a Tales from the Crypt episode where like at 45 minutes it would have been too long in the tooth, it got in and out and did its job for like what it is, you know?
Yeah, no, no, Tales was 30 minutes too.
Yeah, yeah, no, they were, they were, they were like half hours.
17:50
So yeah, good, good, good little shorts.
Yeah, still points, still stands.
Will this, will this become a holiday tradition for you to watch?
No, no, I don’t really have holiday traditions.
No, my holiday tradition is stealing a podcast with.
18:08
You that’s right, that’s anything that we we pick is what what your holiday tradition is and.
Drinking with the cracks.
All right, well, I don’t think we have to give The Yattering Jack a specific rating.
We’ll just say that it was fun and we enjoyed it and it was a nice bookend to our Clyde Barker filmography.
18:25
Would have been really shitty if it was bad.
Yeah, it’s true.
After all the dreck and droll that like the stuff that like barely was like tangentially, you know, Clive related and on Hellraiser, what a note.
And then like, here’s this little turd for.
18:41
That’s right.
Yeah.
Well, this truly is the last episode of Bobbing for Barker.
So we hope you enjoyed.
God get this up on Halloween day as the final hurrah.
And we’ll see you next time as we come back on a couple weeks for new episodes of the show.
18:57
So thanks for listening.
Hope you enjoyed all this Bobbing for Barker talk, and we’ll see you soon.
Until then.
Care.
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