Happy Friday the 13th! What better way to celebrate the day than by pitting the two New Line Cinema Friday the 13th films together! Yeah, no one said writing for a horror site was always fun…
Nudity
Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday
New Line Cinema should be praised for one thing when it comes to their first Friday the 13th effort: they sure as hell loved to cram in a shit ton of nudity, and that is truly a blessing in my useless opinion. Of course, one needs to watch the unrated cut to enjoy the most nudity, as the cut version removes a good amount. The film has an amazing sex scene, with a brutal outcome. There is a lot of boobs and butts flying about and heck, you get to see some dick and balls as well. Yay?
Jason X
I’m not entirely sure why New Line decided to cut back the nudity for Jason X, as it doesn’t have near the amount Part 9 had. We do get some boobs, even of the android kind (nipple-less), but it just can’t stack up to Jason Goes to Hell.
Winner: Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday
Kill Creativity
Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday
Even though Jason might not be in the film much, it still is technically Jason doing all the killing, and this is one violent movie (Unrated cut that is). The tent scene springs to mind, as well as the melting man, the broken wrist, and the burnt man on a grill.
Jason X
There are a couple pretty memorable kills in Jason X, like the big giant drill, the freezing face smash, and the lady getting sucked out into space. Most of the other kills are just Jason using his trusty machete. We do get a pretty funny sleeping bag kill homage.
Winner: Jason X
KILLER COOLNESS FACTOR
Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday
When, and I’m stressing the word when, you see Jason, he is looking pretty neat, with him all bloated and messed-up looking. Sadly, that awesome look disappears for most of the movie.
Jason X
The Pre-Uber version of Jason isn’t terrible, but the duckface mask is pretty ridiculous looking, and they didn’t do much to hide the fact that it’s Kane Hodder behind it. When Jason becomes Uber Jason, you gotta groan, but at least Jason is actually in the damn movie.
Winner: Jason X
STORY
Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday
Jason Voorhees is finally blown to bits by the FBI and he is truly dead… or is he? Jason now has the ability to jump bodies, seeking out his sister (sister?!?) to possess her and be reborn back into his rotten body. The Duke (Steven Williams) has other plans, plans that require the dagger from The Evil Dead to send Jason to hell for once and for all. Cue a pretty sweet surprise cameo at the end!
Jason X
Jason in space. Let’s say that again. Jason in space. They finally reached the point where the series resorts to going to space to make things original. Does it work? Kind of. Jason runs rampant on a spaceship, before getting turned into a cybernetic killing machine. For being the 10th film in the series, it ain’t that bad. Kind of.
Winner: Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday
LASTING APPEAL
Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday
If you watch the Unrated version of The Final Friday, you get to enjoy some pretty sweet gore and nudity, but if you’re looking for Jason, this isn’t the one to watch. For that, the lasting appeal takes a pretty big hit.
Jason X
It might be a cheesy movie, but it’s pretty damn fun to watch. Kind of like a SyFy channel version of a Friday the 13th film. It’s terrible, but it’s enjoyable.
Winner: Jason X
Final Girl
Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday
The final girl in The Final Friday is Jessica Kimble (Kari Keegan). Who? Exactly. She isn’t very memorable and to be perfectly honest, I never really liked her character.
Jason X
The final girl in Jason X is Rowan (played by the sexy Lexa Doig). She’s pretty hot looking, but once again, she isn’t very memorable as a final girl. In fact, the android Kay-Em 14 (Lisa Ryder) is way more memorable, but do we count her? Sure, why not.
Winner: Jason X
That leaves us with an overall count of Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Chapter: 2 to Jason X: 4, which means…
HOLD IT!
Jason X wins? What? I wanted Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday to win. Umm, I know! Whoever won the Nudity category gets triple the points. So… the winner is
Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday
Is Michael being a bitch? Let us know in the comments!
