Fuck that, you think. Guy should have brought a map, and you’ve gotta get back to the main hall in case someone brought weed so Bret doesn’t smoke it all. You head down to the large main hall at the center of the campsite and notice that a few other counselors have already arrived. Not hot… not hot… not hot… Bingo! You head over to the hotty who’s already stripped down to a bathing suit and start your charm.

“Hey, I’m Alex.”

“I’m Sam,” the person you now know as Sam says. “I’m pretty excited about this place. Nice to get away from the big city.”

“Oh really? You live in New York City?”

“Hoboken.”

Oh fuck, you think. A New Jersey resident. Well, at least Sam’s hot.

“Look, I’m going to get right to the point here,” Sam says. “I’m here for drugs, drinking, and sex. I’ve already done a line and shotgunned a couple beers, but I’m missing out on the third one.”

“I don’t have any drugs,” you say.

“FUCKING,” Sam says, like I’m an idiot or something. Sam already said they did a line. “You got a cabin?”

OR